Thursday, September 15, 2016

26 questions survey

From Oct. 12, 2007 on a private blog.

1. Peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, how much is a peck?  I'm not going to tell you.  Oh, okay, here.
1. Abbr. pk.
a. A unit of dry volume or capacity in the U.S. Customary System equal to 8 quarts or approximately 537.6 cubic inches.
b. A unit of dry volume or capacity in the British Imperial System equal to 8 quarts or approximately 554.8 cubic inches. See Table at measurement.
2. A container holding or measuring a peck.

2. What is your favorite caffinated drink?  Hot chocolate, but I know my limit.

3. If you were an animal which one would you be and why?  A dragon, so I could fly and burn things and be scary if I wanted to.

4. If you were out on the town, feeling hungry and your choices of restaruants were endless what type of eatery would you pick?  I think I've tried just about everything, and I still would rather eat at home than anywhere 'out', unless it's with my sisters.  If it's me and Scott, we are *jinxed*, we just don't get a break from weirdos, screaming babies, being forgotten, getting the wrong food, getting a really bad table, you name it, we've experienced it, no matter WHERE we go.  Because of this, I insist on full service, an interesting menu, and a costly meal just so the heartburn will be worth it.  And we always tip handsomely, no matter what.  My belief is that we just happen to catch people on a really bad day, it's just our path in life to be the forgiving ones who don't make their days worse.  And we usually giggle like maniacs through the entire meal because it's so outrageously stupid that we always wind up having really rotten experiences.  We've been offered free food from management several times, and it was never because we complained.

5. How old were you when you learned to tie your shoes?  Gee, who cares?  I have no idea.  It was traumatic, so I buried the memory, and I'd like to keep it that way.

6. What is your all time favorite movie?  Airheads.  You just can't beat that combo.  Really wish they'd made a sequel.

7. Are you pushy and arrogant or quiet and humble?  I am a chameleon.  I think a lot of it depends on whether I care about how stupid other people are being.  They reach a certain level, and I can't help it, I have to start making fun in an intellectually naive sort of way.  I help them look as stupid as humanly possible by simply encouraging it.

8. Favorite summertime activity?  I'm afraid this last summer it was doing a lot of drugs.  Usual combo-- vicodin, skelaxin, prednisone, naproxen, librax, protonix....  I remember very little about anything last summer beyond ice packs and drugs.  And youtube.  What a lifesaver that was.

9. Favorite wintertime activity?  Making cookies, eating cookies, decorating cookies, eating cookies, reading cookie recipes, eating cookies, looking at pictures of cookies, eating cookies...  And sex when I can catch Scott in between sports and yard work.  And eating cookies.

10. What was your favortie song when you were 13?  Probably a John Denver song, or a C.W. McCall song.  You rarely hear either one on oldies stations nowadays.

11. Who is your favorite music artist today?  I'm gonna say John Sebastian just to throw everyone off.

12. Picasso or Monet?  Edvard Munch.

13. Def Leppard or Motley Crew?  Van Halen, Scorpions, Queen, Aerosmith...

14. If you could travel back in time where and when would you go?  Do I get multiple jumps?  Do I get gear so I can go back to the methane atmosphere days and see what the earth was like without it killing me?  If I go back to yesterday will you give me some money so I can go to the theater?  I've actually thought about this a LOT, since I was a young child.  If I only get one chance to change a crucial moment in my past, I want to go back to middle school and kick the crap out of the girls who used to torment me.  And I don't mean girls who called me names and laughed at me.  I mean a gang of mean rough girls who made my life a living hell.  I would really enjoy that, I think.  And I would either be killed, seriously messed up, or thrown in jail before you'd be able to get me back, but I don't care.

15. What is your favorite quote?  "You're wasting your energy attempting to force my cooperation.  I have no sense of self preservation and can always be reassembled."  --790

16. Bush or Clinton?  What, for lunch?  Are you seriously saying one of them is coming to my house?  Ok, I guess whichever one has the cahonies to butcher, pluck, and gut a chicken.  And just to make it interesting, it has to be the neighbor's chicken.  I imagine Clinton would sneak over and steal it and get shot at and think he was having a good time, and Bush would walk over and hand over a hundred dollars and have the chicken handed to him, along with a recipe book and an onion, and he'd make new friends over it.  Let's just say Clinton grew up in an area typecast for chicken thieving.  Either way, what fun, eh?  Nothing like a stinky, bloody mess to test a man's soul.

17. If you could live somewhere else other than the earth, in our solar system, where would it be?  Does that mean I CAN choose a place in our solar system, or I CAN'T?  That part is unclear.  I assume 'living' somewhere other than Earth means I get all the goodies that go with existing in horrendous atmospheres and gravities.  I think I'd rather be a free-floater, living in a habitat in its own orbit, with optional flying around the solar system at will kinds of parts installed.

18. Greens or Cabbage?  Cole slaw, egg rolls, cabbage soup, sauerkraut, a nice little dash of purple in a salad.  Cabbage and I get along ok.  Greens is unspecified.  Poke salat?  Turnip greens?  Spinach?  If it's boiled up in a big pot with onions and bacon, I'm not touching it.

19. When you wake up in the morning whats the first thing that pops into your head?  You know, I've answered this one in so many surveys, and I am beginning to wonder if the word "sex" is supposed to automatically go there, but no one EVER says that is the first thing that pops into their head.  But I'll answer again, in case anyone missed it in other surveys.  The first thing that pops into my head is Where the heck *am* I?  I was just ~there~, now I'm ~here~, but I wasn't done being ~there~ yet... so why am I here?  It slowly dawns on me that I'm BACK.  I was yanked back, sometimes in mid-sentence or just on the verge of discovering the truth of a mystery or something really cool happening, and suddenly I'm back in a boring room, in my boring bed, looking at my boring clock, and wondering why I couldn't have stayed ~there~ just five minutes longer.

20. Do you use deodorant, anti-perspirant or both?  This is about the stupidest question I've ever seen on a survey.  A better question would be do you use a deodorant or anti-perspirant at all.  I know of people who don't because they think the aluminum in the ingredients will cause Alzheimer's, and one person I know of washed her armpits with vinegar.  Now, if you *truly* want to know about a person's pits, ask something more optional.

21. How old were you the fist time you kissed a boy/girl?  Kindergarten, if my cousin counts.  It counted enough to the staff to move me to a different classroom.

22. What is the sexiest feature of a man/woman?  Posture, movement, tone of voice.  I mean, how many people go after whiny klutzes slumped over on a couch?  Betcha never saw THIS kind of answer before.

23. What did you dream about being when you grew up? (profession-wise)  I didn't.  I had no dreams of my future, of a job, of being a grown up at all.  None.  I was ticked off for years that I wasn't born a horse or a dog, and ticked off through puberty that I wasn't born a boy.  The future really didn't occur to me.

24. What is the craziest thing you have ever done for money?  Cleaned up globs of human fat off an operating table after a liposuction.  That is the most tenaciously sticky stuff I've ever seen.  Despite gowning out and changing clothes twice, I still had it all over me for two days, in my hair, on my glasses, just everywhere.  Just have a good think about that when you go into a hospital for a procedure.  Hospital housekeeping staff is what keeps the place running.  I have a deep appreciation for people who clean up after others for a living.

25. Dogs or Cats?  My chicken.

26. One last question, If you legally changed your name, what would you change it to?  Can't tell you.  Don't want anyone stealing it.