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Tuesday, February 11, 2020

questions people won't ask survey- really?

Originally published on October 31, 2012.

Have you ever flirted with your best friend's bf/gf?
Hey, silly person in Pakistan with your external login attempts, I CAN SEE YOU. Yes, YOU.

Do you think that you're all that and your probably really not?
My internal Xanga tracker shows me external login attempts. I've seen several of these from different countries (and a United State) on this silly survey site, my Lexx blog, and my private blog. I'd like to feel flattered, but I fear I'm a random target among many, for the most part. I'm still trying to wrap my head around Michio Kaku's twitter getting hacked last summer, which I witnessed happening live. I hope to never have a nemesis so enamored of me.

Have you gotten beat up before. Tell the truth.
This guy made the most beautifully awesome youtube in HD using one of my all-time fave songs that I never tell *anyone*, it was so perfect for the particular fandom I was perusing, but I could not get that youtube to play correctly on my browser for anything, and he had it on a private link and no embedding. There was no way to message him, so I left a comment asking if I could *please* embed just once ~privately~ so I could put a pause button on it, because there was no way I could buffer it in and actually see it, and he pretty much just laughed like I was some dumb sap with a plug in typewriter and said that's too bad... Um. Dude. I totally ripped off your youtube. Why hand out a private link to your twitter followers if you're going to be like that, right? All you had to do was let me see it. Now I ***OWN*** it on my hard drive, and I can watch that HD with my fave song and a show I love on full screen at. my. leisure. any. time. I. want. You can play with tech and think you're too cool for noobs that hang on what you do, and I'll be polite about it, but you kick dirt at this nerd, I'll go own your tech. Oh, and I was able to pin it onto pinterest, too, so suck it. My baditude trumps yours.

Are you smart or are you dumb?I was prolly pretty dumb for just admitting all that.

If you're a girl, do you scratch your boobs when nobody's looking?
I don't care if someone's looking, I live in tick and brown recluse country. And if I get a bee sting you'll see me stripping without warning, and if you don't help me get the stinger out because you're too busy being inexperiencedly stupid enough to think it's time to make a point of ogling (this survey creator seems pretty green), I'll rip your arms off.

Have you ever wanted to have sex with your own gender?
Do I seem like I'm in a bad mood? My answers look like they're bordering on comic sans violence tonight. My allergies finally just took me all the way down, I'm exhausted and ready to take sandpaper to my itchy eyeballs, and I'm sitting by the door waiting for trick-or-treaters. So far we got a pretty ladybug fairy and a grim reaper. Let's see, sex with my own gender. Nope. I generally don't want sex with anyone. My psychologist is lately taking an amused interest in the fact that I, an aspie asexual, am obsessed with a scifi show mildly spoofing the porn industry driving home the point that no one ever seems to get any sex...

Are you liking this survey so far?
Well, it's certainly bringing out my blabby crabby side, so sure, I'd call this survey a success.

Do you have alot of friends or are you nobody at school?
I was the same kind of nobody I am now, discreet enough not to be suspect, and exhibitionist enough to constantly be planning evil schemes.

Are you annoying to most people?
Everyone who knows me is going YES!!!!

Can you take the truth, no matter what it is?
The truth slaps me right in the face so often that I don't think it phases me much any more.

Would you go suicidal if someone in your family died?
The laws of robotics won't allow it. I suck at self harming unless I know for a fact I positively *won't* bleed, cry, regret, or die. I'm even afraid to pick sores. I'm not above self inflicting weird kinds of pain, though.

Is there somebody in your life you hate at this point?
I don't have the energy to hate anyone. I tried, it's just too draining. It's easier not to think about whoever, like they don't exist. I'm kinda Spongebob-y like that, in my own bubble.

Are you dreading something right now?
I'm wondering if I turn off the front light at 8:00 and close the blinds and go off in another room we'll suddenly get a mob of trick-or-treaters with toilet paper and eggs. Actually, that only used to happen to a guy up the street who was a teacher in the high school, but we never got papered or egged because we were the cool house. But still, you never know. Halloween is kind of like playing out a ritualistic protection racket.

While taking this, did you start thinking about your true self?Wow, really? I don't hide my true self, my true self is always what you get. I think it's sad that so much of the world assumes we all hide our true selves, as if there is another self inside we have to protect all the time. The world is so full of haters, see what this survey is doing to me, it's making me sad thinking about haters. Go away, survey! I want to be done with you!!!!

Would you date somebody on Valentine's Day just to get something for Valentine's?
I know people who do that, and I'm totally disgusted that people purposely blind themselves with hope and allow other people to use them like that in the name of love. It's so much simpler being asexual. You wouldn't believe the crap I see right through. I can predict any couple's demise with uncanny accuracy, based on one's selfishness and the other's gullibility. When you have to buy into a holiday for love, it's not love, capiche? Scheduling romantic gooey stuff on a calendar is ridiculous, especially when money is expected to be involved. Survey maker, I'm on your side on this one. You are right to be suspicious.

Have you ever broke somebody's heart and didn't care?
You have broke my heart with that incorrect verb tense and all the typos you made earlier.

Did you go to Pre-K?
K was bad enough, so thank goodness I didn't. And thank goodness this survey is over! The light is off now, Halloween is over, I'm going to get my pajamas on and load up on benadryl.