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Friday, October 24, 2014

survey- Can You Spill Your Deep Dark Secrets?

Originally posted on 12-10-12. Note for people who might think transferring these surveys is an even bigger waste of time than doing them in the first place. 7000+ words...??? Many writers I've seen on twitter and in blogs think 1500-2000 words is a big deal. This is my brain all the time. I can't stop it. Surveys are a really good way to train your brain past writers blocks.

:edit: 6-3-14 The old youtube codes got wiped out, I can’t remember what was there before so I’m replacing them with new ones. You wouldn’t believe the code mess that involved me cleaning up, there are over 7000 words in here. O_o

:edit: 10-24-14 I'd like to personally thank John Barrowman for standing around in his underwear in public and devout Merlin fans for ranking this survey into my top five of all time with thousands of views over a server migration and several code smashes. I love you guys.


Can You Spill Your Deep Dark Secrets?



Who is the last person that hurt your feelings?
Apparently I forgave and forgot, because I can’t recall a thing. Or maybe I wasn’t paying attention, it’s really hard to tell. I’m busy. Btw, now that I can see this on my new smart phone, I know that you sometimes get big gaps where there are youtubes. Be patient. Keep reading and come back.




Would you consider plastic surgery?
Scott got the staple gun out for this job. Yeah, I know it looks like he put them on the wrong side, but the street is on the left. Several shrubs in the yard got colored up, too.



What is bothering you at this moment?
I’m coming slowly down off one of those week-long migraines that travel down your spine, everything else by sheer comparison is a welcome distraction. Like Scott cleaning out his old tackle box all over the coffee table, I actually asked about some of his lures. He thinks I’m cool and like to talk to him about his little hooks and stuff, but it’s really just me desperately looking for a way to claw out of this tangled sensory web I’m trapped in. Kinda like how he nearly got tangled up in his fishing line in the kitchen yesterday. He showed me how to make a blood knot, but I don’t remember. (Ok, a week has gone by since I wrote that, I’m feeling better now.)

Ever started a rumor about someone?
I seriously considered spilling the beans that I was pregnant with Brian Downey‘s baby after MegaCon ’07, because the fandom was already in a crazy tizzy, but decided no one would appreciate the joke. Scott would have gone along with it, he thought it was funny.



Whats the craziest reason why you broke up with someone?
Scott said it was to save money, but when I tried to schedule a blood test they had my file so mangled that they had me married to someone else, and calling back two more times kept twisting up the information more and more, so I finally said forget it, I’ll just keep the old life insurance. The insurance broker tried to explain to me that the schedulers are just hired off the street and have nothing to do with the actual blood test or paperwork, but that underwhelmed me even more. These kids are old enough to text and drive, I bet they could do the work better if their desks were zooming around the office and they could only use their thumbs on a teeny tiny keypad. So I broke up with the people I was breaking up with the other people for.

Have you ever been accused of cheating on a partner?
I hide the snacks I buy, Scott hides the snacks he buys. Stuff like this can save a marriage. Well, except the cheese. Scott always finds my seriously sharp cheddar.



Ever lied about your age?
Scott once tried to get me to say I was 55 to get the senior discount. I was nowhere near 50 and protested, and he tried to swoon me with “They’ll tell you how young you look!” This is why God made the evil eye, to keep nidiots in line.

Last time you masterbated?
That’s spelled with a u, sweetheart, masturbated. No one ever asks really good questions about this kind of stuff. Like how much did I regret it later.

Ever felt the need to change yourself for someone?
Bathing regularly is a nice thing to do. I just erased a lengthy rant about lazy people who cover up their lack of bathing with expensive designer fragrances. Aiming this at young women in particular, after growing up with sisters, raising daughters, and picking up after girls in an intimates department fitting room for 5 years. USE SOAP.

When is the last time you prayed?
I pray for the weirdest stuff in my dreams. Hey, I know this is way off the subject, but I’m counting down till I can live stream Merlin at 1:55 this afternoon (7:55 UK time), and this advent calendar teaser just came through on twitter, so I’m sharing.

:edit: due to technical difficulties, this video is being replaced.




Do you watch porn?
I am the one person you don’t want in the room for a group porn watch. I can’t help totally going MST3K all over it until everyone is ready to throw me off a balcony. Likewise, I’ve wondered a few times just how quickly I’d manage to kill an orgy, because I would be laughing so hard that no one would be able to focus. That’s probably why villagers used to tie people to a rock as a sacrifice to the local demon, because what else do you do with someone like that. I’d be better off with Muppet porn, so I could be like Statler and Waldorf.




Have any of your ex’s turned gay?
I told Scott if I were a guy he’d get better sex out of me because I’d totally be gay, but I don’t think that frightens him as much as it should. I laughed at this hat so much yesterday that he switched to a different hat today.



What do you wish you did for a living?
Scott said he’ll give me half if he ever wins the lottery, so I aspire to hope he wins for a living. Or maybe I’ll get something published. I’ve gotta stop being so lazy… This would be a good pic for a caption.



What is worse a cheater or a liar?
Both make pretty good characters if you’re writing something, according to Xander Bennett. He’s one of the extremely few people I allow mobile alerts for day and night. http://twitter.com/xanderbennett Read- How to Write a Kick-Ass Protagonist by Xander Bennett | Script Frenzy



Do you still have stuffed animals?
Marcel is ticked that I haven’t let him ride any of the chickens yet. It’s on his bucket list. I think it’s a little ambitious, and what if the chicken freaks out and takes off, will I ever find him again if he falls off, or will the other chickens try to attack him if I tie him on? But yeah, I did promise him that one day we could try it, and he’s all excited, like he’d be riding a dinosaur like in Land of the Lost. I’d like to wait till they slack off on their laying first, last thing I need is a stressed out chicken with a stuck egg.
What happens to the chicken when the eggs get stuck inside of her

Do you dance around in your underwear?
The last time I got excited enough to dance around I smashed my ankle on the coffee table. I don’t think being in my underwear would have changed anything, unless I had hurt myself badly enough to have to call 9-1-1, and then it would have been memorable for a number of people. See, this is why I need really super cool underwear like John Barrowman, so my embarrassment won’t come from how dumb my ordinary panties are. He is partnered with a Scott, too. We’re very lucky, both our Scotts have awesome butts and thighs.



Do you own a dildo or vibrator?
I could say I don’t need one because I get off just fine on everything else in the house, and it saves money, but that’s probably tmi. I think some of the funniest pix on the internet are photo bombs with animals in them. I know, OT, but this question needed something more interesting than my epic fails.
The 35 Greatest Animal Photobombers Of All Time

Are you a picky person?
Ex~treme~ly. I write letters to companies about their products and wind up with all kinds of coupons for free stuff. I guess that’s how they shut people up.

Do you wish your boobs were bigger?
5:30 a.m., see a spider, try to hurry so I can get the spider before it gets away or crawls on me (it’s within 8 inches of my foot and it looks like a brown recluse), but I can’t stop peeing because my bladder is so full, and it’s nearly at my foot and then going by and I’m really trying to hurry up, dang it, and FINALLY I can get up and grab that spider in some toilet paper and flush it down, thank goodness. Always when I’m peeing… Bigger boobs wouldn’t have helped that situation. And I’ve had bigger boobs. I was glad they shrunk a bit when I lost 50 pounds.


What do you find yourself doing while laying in bed?
Getting back up constantly. I can’t help it. I have gone so far as to get up and iron stuff at 3 in the morning. Sometimes I’m nearly asleep and an awesome idea blazes through my mind, and I have to sit up and write several pages of stuff. Usually I just flip through the Dish guide or check stuff on my laptop, once in awhile I read. And from what I see on twitter, I think half the world is like this. No, what you’re thinking doesn’t help.

Ever been skinny dipping?
I dip fat free chicken tenders in egg before I crumb and bake them.

How many times have you checked up on your ex?
We keep an eye on the obituaries. One can dream.

Do you consider yourself trust worthy?
You can completely trust me to be devious behind your back.

Ever used a fake ID or one that wasn’t you?
I have seen people try to pass themselves off as someone else. This only works if you have the same skin color and gender of the ID you just stole. #tinybrains


How old was your oldest sexual partner?
Caution, sensitive stuff, close your eyes- I think the grossest pet butchering eating I’ve ever been through was an old Suffolk ram, my dad’s delight, a blue ribbon winner in a big county fair out west, and the only animal we moved with us to Missouri- in the back of our station wagon. No kidding, he traveled in the car with us. I’m sure we looked like idiots. He threw wonderful lambs for many years, and even when he got too old to keep up, Dad couldn’t bear to part with him, so he kept him around, which is a big thing on a farm where everything is supposed to be efficient and useful. That ram became a favorite for a calf that Dad decided to keep for a bull instead of selling it for a steer, and that calf humped the ram till he could barely cripple around at all. When the ram finally started losing weight, Dad made The Decision, and with tears in his eyes, led the ram out of the pen to butcher him. You know, I’ve eaten all kinds of young things, and mothers who weren’t going to make it through birthing and whatever, but eating that really old crippled guy who’d been raped over and over till he could no longer walk was about as low as it could get. I’m not a PETA person, I still eat meat, but my stomach has been so turned over the years by certain kinds of neglect that get mistaken for fondness for one’s pet that I can hardly stand being around people like that any more. People who own animals (slaves) have a responsibility, and whether we wind up eating them or not pales against the quality of life those animals lead. Just writing all this down made me feel a little sick. -Ok, you can open your eyes now.

Have you ever faked an orgasm?
I keep getting these weird factoids on twitter from various sources about snails and a certain kind of worm and a rare breed of frog, pretty much every kind of animal sooner or later, about copulation statistics, like how long their orgasms last or how many times they do it or whether they die afterward, and I think of all the things that have ever grossed me out about being human, at least we’re not weirder or grosser, you know? And I see no sense in faking orgasms, that’s a weird head game. I think it would behoove the public to receive weird factoids on twitter about what sorts of psychological situations motivate people not to be honest with each other. I just tell Scott to hurry up and get off me if there is any chance I might get super aroused, then super pissed because he’s done and I’m not, and then bite his head off. It’s a mutual arrangement that has contributed to nearly 20 ongoing successful years of marriage. He seems to appreciate that I don’t make a big deal out of it every single time.

If your last ex apologized would you get back with them?
If my last ex apologizes, I will wonder what happened to time and space and hell freezing over. I don’t think he has the fortitude, to be euphemistic. Actually, I have two exes of any significance, so this is a different one than the one in a previous question where I was checking obits.

What family memeber are you closest to?
I’m having the hardest time getting through this survey, have been working on it over a week already. This is the time of year that I either go numb and disengage my brain or join the cacophony of chaos that the holidays bring. (I wrote that a week ago, so now I’m in my second week of working on this. Here have a pie picture. It’s chocolate, and the green sugar sprinkles are supposed to make it festive.)


What does death teach us about life?
See, like this question. I’ve passed this question about 50 times, but today I’m going to answer it. Yesterday I made a cool post on another blog about my old hen, pictures and everything, and mere hours after I posted it, a great big hawk got her. How many months has she been able to roam around the yard for a couple of hours every day and nothing happens, and the day I make a post about her, she dies a tragic murderous death. I jinxed her.

If nothing was holding you back, where would you live and why?
I love it when some goob says something on twitter about somebody famous, and someone else pops up with a reply about how they live only 3 doors down from them and it’s really not like that, etc. Um, hit and run on twitter from a huge house on the same street as a celeb? Seriously, you have nothing *better* to do than stalk people who hashtag someone on your street? I think this is how you find people who really do have nothing holding them back and actually DO live wherever they want, like down the street from someone they’ve been stalking for years. Sooner or later, they just can’t stand it any more and have to flush out of the bushes and say something. *wow* Creepy.

When was the last time you cried?
I was outside in the wind helping Scott hang Christmas lights around some of our little evergreen bush tree things, and the cold wind made my nose run and my eyes water. And then my left eyelid got so irritated that my eyes watered for over an hour after I came back in the house.

What is the earliest memory you have of a sibling?
Every time I listen to My Best Friend’s Girl by the Cars and they get to the line “Every new boy that she meets doesn’t know the real surprise” I crack up thinking about my youngest daughter puking her lungs out everywhere she goes. She’s so cute and pretty and easily nauseated, she can pick up any guy and he can be so dazzled, and then she gets a stomach bug or maybe has a girls night out once in awhile, and there it goes, all over someone’s car, all over someone’s bathroom, hours and hours of misery while her poor nervous system is cranked up to defcon one.



What is the earliest photograph of yourself that you have that you remember when it was taken?
I never was much of a self portrait person for years, just never thought to even look in a mirror most of the time, even though people all around me take hundreds of pictures of themselves, and one friend even gave me a whole cd full of herself for some reason. But the last few years I’ve been practicing, and I mostly just wind up with stuff like this.


How did you meet your first boyfriend or girlfriend?
I’m so backward with the Asperger’s (now being lumped back into Autism Spectrum Disorders, wish they’d make up their minds) that I was in my 30′s before I realized that the little boy I slugged in the second grade for kissing me on the playground and then I chased all over the place up through 5th grade could actually be defined by gradeschool standards as a ‘boyfriend’. I never had another boyfriend through the whole rest of school.

Describe your typical day, from wake to sleep.
Dazed, confused, hysterically ridiculous, and recklessly absorbed in my obsession du jour.



What would be your ideal birthday present, and why?
Well, I’ve pretty much already gotten Christmas. Scott upgraded our broadband and bought me a smart phone. If I had the money I’d upgrade to business broadband and purchase a few more gigs on my phone plan.

Think of a loved one that you have lost. If you could ask this person one question, what would you ask, and what do you think they would say?
Scott and I have already thought of this. He says he’s going to get a safe deposit box for the insurance papers so I won’t have to run a seance trying to ask him, because he’s so bad about packing things in unlabeled boxes and moving them around all the time. I’m pretty sure he’ll be as ADD after death as he is in life, and will be impatient to move on.

What is the best advice you ever received?
I don’t know why I think I remember a bible verse about a prophet telling an evil king to go back to bed for another hour so his people can get some relief, but whatever it was impressed me when I was younger. I haven’t been able to find it, and when stuff like this happens it feels all Matrix-y, like something changed, and maybe I really do remember something because my brain didn’t completely readjust. Or like maybe time travel is real and people really do go back and change little things in history. I remember when I was a preteen crawling through the hay gathering eggs, was suddenly gripped with the weird thought that when I come back out, everything was changed, and I didn’t know who the president was. That was back in the 70′s, I had never seen any scifi like that, had never seen a Twilight Zone, etc. I have a cousin who experiences stuff like that, too, said one day in grade school he was terrified because the teacher handed him back a paper with a good grade on it, and he *knew* he didn’t do that work, and walking home after school through a vacant lot he freaked out about a tree being gone, and his sister said there was never a tree there. Either he and I drift through parallel lives, or things really do change, or we’re crazy, and my psychologist has assured me I’m not crazy. Anyway, it really bothers me that I can’t ever find that bible verse. If anyone else knows what I’m talking about, ~please~ put it in my comments. Otherwise I can only assume I’m on my way to early Alzheimer’s or something. :edit: 6-3-14 Someone reminded me that was Linus ‘quoting’ to Charlie Brown.

If you were to die today what would like people to say about you?
At this point, no one would have a clue because I’ve disappeared off the internet before, so no one would say much of anything. But if you really want to know how to know, my photobucket premium will expire and most of my images will disappear off my blogs, but my blogs will still be there.

If you could be anybody, who would you be?
I sometimes think it would be super cool if we could swap bodies with someone for a day, but I can see all kinds of charges and litigations popping up over that kind of stuff. And it would be super weird if it was like Being John Malkovich. Bodies are like our local address in the big cosmology of spacetime, if you want to get all new age-y, and no matter what else, we always wind up having to come back to our own bodies that we’re born into (assuming people really can astral project and whatever). If we weren’t tied down like this and really could move in and out of bodies like we get in and out of cars, can you imagine the weird kinds of violence and cruelty we could invent? It’s one thing to rape someone else’s body, imagine being able to steal it or use it for something the original ‘owner’ wouldn’t like. People with stronger spirit wills would cast weaker people out and take their bodies and force whatever pleasure and use they could out of them and then move on when they quit working. It’s like a blessing we’re *stuck* in our own bodies.

What is the most important aspect of your life and why?
My mind, ego, world view, whatever you want to call it. My attitude has gotten me through a LOT of stuff. When life sux, you flop on your face for awhile, then you get pissed off and kick back. And since I’m getting a message that these vids won’t play through a website or something, I’m giving you two versions of it, both awesome, both click out to the original youtube pages.:edit: Forget that, both got wiped, here, have another one.


Where would you travel, if you could go anywhere?
I like going to a variety of grocery stores. I know that’s weird, but that’s my thing. I like seeing all the different brands and prices and label art, the floor plans, the signage, etc. I’d rather go to a grocery store than just about anywhere else, I feel very at home in them.

What time period you would like to be born in?
Sometimes I have dreams where I’m way in the future, society has broken down all over the planet, geography has drastically changed, and I’m running around with other people through derelict buildings that are so old you almost can’t tell anymore that they were structures. In one dream we were being chased by something big that looked like nothing I’ve ever seen, and got trapped in a blocked hallway that would otherwise have been open to the elements, and I remembered (???) that the sliding glass doors (how did I know what they were?) only needed power to close, and the rest of the dream was like I just hijacked this person’s mind and tore open a panel and jimmied some wiring behind the buttons like you see people do on tv shows, the doors slid shut, and the animal couldn’t come in. I woke up *right* after that, so I have no idea if those people ever got out of there, but I do remember being so surprised that worked, and wondering how in the world I knew that, and I realized *then* that the person whose head I was in had never seen electricity work. It’s only one of many dreams where I’m riding along in someone else’s head, and I’m not me at all. I think, if that could possibly have been real, that building was originally an underground facility on nuclear power or something. Can’t explain it otherwise. My coolest remote dream ever was the accidental soul traveler.

If your best friend came to you depressed and upset like you’ve never seen before, how would you react?
This has happened. Situations like this are why I don’t have friends. I need a t-shirt that says “I Suck”, because with the Asperger’s it takes at least 3 months for the ‘oh…’ to hit and realize what I should have done and said. Hmm, can’t believe how many different kinds of I Suck tees came up on a search… I’m forever stepping innocently into the offensive without a thought or clue. It’s kind of like when I wanted to find Black Rocks (a chicken breed) and my search bar autocorrected to black cocks, which I thought would also be chickens. And one time I looked up ‘chicken fanciers’ because there are dog and cat breed fanciers, right? I learned a LOT that day. Wo, free associated right off this question into sexland. See, this is why I suck as a friend, I really can’t stay in the moment with your sadness. Here, have some fun stuff while I move on to the next question.





Would you be a different person today if you had a different childhood?
Different parents would have been phenomenal. I was jealous of kids who were adopted.

If you could build a car customized just for you, what would it contain?
A driver. Scott isn’t always available. I’m ok with driving, but ever since my brain glitched, driving has become a little too interesting. It’s like the little Tom-Tom voice in my head gets caught in the Matrix and has to redownload the map over and over while I circle around for a landing.

When have you realized you were really wrong in your judgment about someone?
I knew a girl named Nicole who looked like a young blond haired blue eyed Angelina Jolie without her makeup. Her agent got her a gig in the 2005 issue of 417 Bride, *wow*. I withheld judgment, but her life was a little ridiculous, and not for reasons you think. I know she got other gigs and was flown somewhere for a commercial or infomercial or something, but I have no idea where she is now.



How do you react when you realize you’ve made a mistake?
I’m never surprised. I’ve tried being horrified, like when I accidentally post something public instead of protected, but I can’t keep up the momentum. The best thing to do is live your life like the way you keep your keychain. Mine is big because it’s full of extra cool collectible stuff, and it’s like that because I drop them a lot and more than once I’ve had to crawl under my front deck because they fell through a crack, but that stopped when I loaded it all up and made it too big to fall through the crack, right? We finally rebuilt the front deck and fixed all that, but it’s so handy being able to grab, grip, and catch a really big keychain. That’s what you do with your life, load it up with lots of easy stuff to hang onto when everything falls apart. That way when mistakes are made, you don’t fall through any cracks.


If you had to sacrifice one of your senses (taste, touch, smell, sight, hearing), which would you choose and why?
Been there, done that, Bell’s Palsy, sucked, ongoing nerve damage- I think the biggest loss for me was when I lost my joy for chocolate. That lasted about two years. When it came back I was ecstatic. Imagine never being able to taste chocolate again, wouldn’t that suck?

Who has more power the government or the people?
George Soros. Fox Mulder is probably close to figuring out he’s the link between the coming world government and the coming alien incursion.

Did I recently have an interesting conversation?
I can’t believe out of all the Guidos and all the Spocks on twitter, no one has grabbed GuidoSpock. So I did.
http://twitter.com/guidospock Wonder how that will turn out.


Who is the person that I feel has altered the course of my morals and values, and how did they effect me?
My Wookie Jesus t-shirt arrived in the mail last week. I got it on an online Black Friday deal for $13 from Glow-in-the-Dark Wookiee Jesus Shirt – The Oatmeal.


What is my earliest or happiest memory?
Is it annoying anyone else that the survey creator switched from ‘you’ and ‘your’ to ‘me’ and ‘my’? What’s up with that? Hey, they’re still looking for the guy that I was tweeting about the other day during the manhunt only a couple miles from my house, and *now* they are saying he’s armed and dangerous. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night… I bet he gets a truckload of coal this year.

Which amendment to the constitution is the most important to you and why?
I really like the part that says the government can’t walk into our houses and just accuse us of stuff and take anything away from us without due course. People used to be executed or thrown into jail at the drop of a hat. I think too many people today don’t know this stuff.

Is speech always free? When and where might it not be free?
Who are you, and what did you do with the survey creator? Is this a group project, or is this the same person who asked if I’ve ever faked an orgasm?

When were you the happiest this year?
I’m ~always~ happy. I was especially happy that my mil didn’t speak to me for 5 months.


Recall a place, person or event, what emotion do you remember feeling most strongly?
Do we need a little eye candy here? Just a little… You can click that pic if you want to follow his tweets.


Which friend has had the greatest impact on your life and why?
Perhaps I have a terribly flawed view on the holidays, but my fave ever holiday movie EVER is A Very Sunny Christmas – It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. After having several **very bad** holiday seasons in a row, years of badness and suckiness, that movie made me so happy and floaty that I was able to get through an especially super sucky depressing year all ~smiles~. All I had to do was think of that movie.



Describe your dream house, room by room.
I had to do a House-Tree-Person during my guidance and counseling master’s, and the teacher, who’d been testing people for 30 years, said he’d never seen anyone do actual house plans before. Basically, my house was the metaphorical gutted anatomy representation of my relationship with my mother. Most people with issues just do a lot of tile detailing on the roof, or lots of curly smoke coming out of the chimney, a cat in the window, all kinds of little details that indicate you’re not sharing something that’s bothering you. Me, I’m all splat, I will share EVERYTHING, I don’t care who sees it or knows it, and I don’t care how anyone feels about it. My dad has asked me to respect my mom (she died 3 years ago), and as long as he lives, I will respect my dad on that. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t share a few things in a book. You don’t get your brain really twisted growing up for nothing.

Imagine you are attending your dream concert—what songs would you want to be played? What does the stage look like?
My dream concert is me alone, and an empty stage. I like music, I like the CDs I’ve got, I even like some of the people I listen to on them, but having to sit there in public surrounded by bodies and no way to escape the noise pulverizing my eardrums and the smells raking through my head and the lights stabbing into my brain is about as hell as it gets for me. #autistic I’ve tried going to concerts, I’ve worn earplugs and sunglasses in theaters, I’ve been medicated out of my mind to get through stuff, and I just can’t do it anymore. My nervous system is like a cat on a car battery.

If you could learn any new language, which one would you choose and why?
I have never missed an episode of Ice Loves Coco. They are my favorite power couple. And I LOVE Ice’s book.


What are a few qualities you dislike in other people, and why?
I love self made people. I’ve noticed that the celebs I’m most drawn to are the ones who have completely reinvented the way something is done, or completely created themselves against mainstream media. I’m not crazy about whiners. I know, I’m a pro, but seriously, would you be here if I were just whining about the same thing over and over about what qualities I dislike in other people? It’s more fun to think about what I *like*.

What music makes you want to get up and dance? Why don’t you?
God help us all when I start chair dancing. Or car dancing. And I think I mentioned smashing my ankle last week dancing around.

How would you spend your time if you were wealthy?
I’d probably still take pictures of leaves. I can’t help it, I think random symmetry is beautiful. I have been in love with leaves and all the patterns they make blowing around in the wind since I was a baby.


What is one of your most personal hopes and dreams?
I’ve had to really think about this one. And it’s really hard to share with words. I ache to be part of everything, like the bones of the earth, the expanse of space, the endless dichotomies of water, the energy and movement of everything really fast and really slow, because it feels really weird to me to be localized into this one tiny being. I’ve never understood this feeling, and I can only chalk it up to being one of the wacked out synesthesia things I have to deal with. When friends think I want to meet celebrities or be ‘someone’ myself, they have no idea what is really in my head. I’m a people watcher ~because~ of the asperger’s. I love the uniqueness each person has. But deep in my soul, it’s like I can feel that the earth I’m on is just one tiny molecule in a very big swirl of being and time, and that is part of even bigger stuff, and I want to know ALL of it.

How do others see you?
I can’t even imagine. I’ve given up trying to understand Scott’s family, my own family mystifies me because I’m on a different planet than they are, friends have to keep their distance to survive me, famous people won’t touch me with a stick. On the other hand, haters, weirdos, gamers, scifi junkies, and for some reason sex addicts really seem to love me. Probably because I don’t demand anyone’s affection and I love you all back as long as you don’t creep me out or expect me to be your friend, because I suck at being friends, which I think I’ve already covered in a previous question. This is about the best video I’ve ever seen for me and Scott.



Kinda wrestling with a youtube update and iframes, which don’t always want to play 3rd party on my blogs, but I know the old embed code doesn’t always play across new devices, either. I can jimmie all this back into old code and all the tubes will play great on a desktop and sometimes nothing else, or I can leave these as is and you can click directly to youtube if they won’t play on this blog, but at least it’s sharable across new devices. I’ll be very happy one day when they get all the interfacing and sharing ironed out. I think the big hangup is how to keep it monetized, and I keep finding ways around it with code, and I need to just stop that. Time to go forward into the future with the rest of the robots. :edit: 6-3-14 I think Xanga is catching up with their migration code integration for the new editor, yay!

What would you do if you had all the money in the world?
How many questions does this survey have??? Every time I open this back up I find whole groups of questions I’ve missed. Let’s see, money, this is a dumb question, isn’t it? I mean, I guess I’m taking it too literally, so let’s just pare it down a bit. What would I do if I had money to blow, how’s that? Crank up my tech, pay off my family’s bills, maybe get a Lamborghini. What I’d really like is a personal assistant, but every which way I think about that, I can’t see me tolerating having one for very long. Maybe a gofer. I think I could handle that.

Complete this sentence: Love is…
~Today~, love is all about getting some Christmas boxes pulled together full of homemade goodies to send in the mail later this week. These are pfeffernusse through a cookie press.


What are you most grateful for?
Very seriously, youtube. Youtube has been there for me through so much stuff. Finding other fans around the world who like the same things I like and do such creative and inspiring stuff beats just about any other media experience I’ve ever had.

Why is your best friend your best friend?
Not a lot of people tolerate me. Scott has never left me. I don’t care what sucks or how stupid it gets, he has never walked away, and you have to really admire a person who cares enough to stick around like that. I could never hope to find a better best friend.

What is a place that inspires you?
Oops, I left a pan on. Glad I caught that. One of my biggest fears is burning the house down. Funny how I’ve never thought to put that into a survey, and it’s not even the right question now. Let’s see, inspiring place… Isn’t this stunning? Dang, I need to remember to put that on pinterest.


What is the best decision you have ever made in your life?
Can I be honest? I’ve had to go back on pain pills the last couple of weeks like I haven’t done in a long time, and I’m kind of floating through this whole survey. Anybody else on pain pills through the holidays? Makes it special, right? Hey, want a random impromptu interview? People look so different on skype. Several people have asked me this year if I skype, guess I need to learn how.



Will You Impress A Person By Fighting Someone to get them to Like You?
Wo, now we’re capitalizing everything in the questions. This survey creator’s head is all over the map. Super curious if there is some kind of psychological reason for all this style switching, because I got the survey off a site that forces you to sit there plugging questions in, you can’t just paste a batch over. So whoever made this survey must have sat there for HOURS, and maybe got up and did stuff. Maybe more than one person is hanging out and they’re taking turns. Maybe it’s a slumber party or a dorm room, or maybe the survey creator is middle aged and has divergent personalities. Whatever. Here I am totally being distracted again. True story. This woman showed up on my doorstep some years ago, a fan (it’s so weird that I have fans), and she hung out for a few days because I didn’t know what else to do about it. So I took her with me to the video store one day, and she got all excited, hoping I’d get into a fight with the video store clerk, and I’m all like whaaaa? She tried to egg me on and everything. I was so confused, had no idea what was going on or why she was all excited and stuff. Found out later she’d forgotten her blood pressure pills. I am ~so glad~ she didn’t have a medical emergency in my house. I think all wired up ‘fight’ issues are like that, whether they’re rage or just plain wound up entertainment buzz. When your body is wound up, your mind gets wound up. When your body has issues, your mind has issues. When I see people with rage problems or getting excited about someone wanting to throw down, I figure something’s wacked out in their chemicals. I can’t even imagine feeling gleeful or good about getting in someone else’s face. Anyway, then this woman went home and posted online all kinds of stuff about how I punched her and stuff, really ridiculous, and she just ate up all the attention she got. I just walked away. If she was that jealous of my internet friends that she had to go to such lengths to sabotage me and take my friends away from me, I don’t need friends that are stupid enough to fall for that kind of stuff. And this kind of stuff has happened several times in different fandoms I’ve hung out in. People love train wrecks. They love fights. They’d rather schmooze all over an instigator, so, go schmooze. If that’s your thing, that’s your thing. There are people out there still duking it out over David Lee or Sammy, and all I can say is, if that’s all you’ve got, your life must really suck.

Do You Have demons in your life?
I think they’re frustrated that I haven’t caved yet. I don’t suck up and beg for leniency when life sux, I just keep doing surveys.

Have You Ever Wanted To Be The Best Person In The World?
Being the best something is a LOT of work. Now, being the *only* something, that’s another story. I think I’m the only person on the internet right now doing an online Lexx marathon with hundreds of screen grabs, some that have never before been uploaded anywhere, especially on a public site. I never dreamed people would actually care, but there you go.

Have You Wanted to Steal the Show At School?
I can tell when some of you get impatient waiting for the next survey, it’s real cute how you keep clicking around. I get the warm fuzzies. 

Are You Happy?
I’m still thinking about that which sense would I rather lose question. Ever since I lost my sense of smell off and on for a couple of years, I can’t tell you how awesome it is to be able to smell morning smells like coffee, bacon, and black pepper on my eggs.


Whatever holidays you are celebrating or avoiding, I do hope that you have the nicest holiday season possible for YOU. You deserve it. And if the world doesn’t end on the 21st, I hope 2013 is kind. If you actually read to the end of this, bless your heart.