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Showing posts with label Jack Bauer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jack Bauer. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

the smooshed together survey

Originally posted on 2-9-13.

I'm smooshing together and totally redoing a couple of ancient surveys I found from 2007 on a retired private blog, some of these questions are worth revisiting.  (:edit: 5-10-14 I just destroyed all the video codes fixing a single typo in this survey #sadpanda I forgot that the Xanga migration rewrote the video codes and the only way they stayed intact was NOT TOUCHING THEM, so I'll come back later and replace them. I'm sorry, I saw this post getting hit a bit lately, and one typo sucked me in... Give me a few days, I'm on vacation right now. Sorry.)

1. You're in the hospital, who on your top 8 comes to visit you

Please don't jinx me and say I'm in the hospital... I used to have the Priceline Negotiator in my top 8 on one of my old myspaces, might be a little weird if he came to see me. Even scarier, his daughter...
 (wow, remember when people fought over being in the top 8?)

(:edit: 5-15-15 I can't believe I missed transferring this survey, I guess it was too disheartening to face for awhile. You know what? Let's find that video!) (Better yet, here is the banned one!)


2. If alcohol were banned, what would your reaction be?

There goes my fave Listerene, 'real' vanilla, and Port Wine cheese balls. I think I'd be pretty ticked. I know, what the crap! I lead with a COMMERCIAL??? I promise you guys, I'm not being paid to do that, I just really have this thing for the Priceline Negotiator. Like Bruce Campbell says-



3. You cd collection is reposessed. you can keep one?

My luck I'd be stuck with something like TV Theme Songs from the 70's. Repo'd? Who thinks of questions like this? Do people still melt their cd collections in hot cars?

4. Do you believe world peace is possible?

I believe we already have world peace. Think about it. 90% of about 8 billion people are pretty peaceful. It's the other 10% that just don't 'get' it. THEY keep trying to disrupt world peace. I blame the Goa'uld.

5. I'm a genie. Name your wish.

I am so ready for this weird ladybug infestation to be over. They are on *everything*. Yeah, you think they're cute, you've never had a thousand ladybugs inside your house. This little guy was nearly in my mouth before I noticed him.



6. Name one thing about the opposite sex that turns you off?

I've never understood the whole Elvis Presley thing, but I really really REALLY want a Flying Elvi t-shirt.



7. Name one thing about the opposite sex that automatically turns you on?

At the risk of turning this one question into an entire survey of its own, let's just please note that Andrew Lee Potts is AWESOME, and if you wanna see more of what he's doing *right now*, you need to click on the twitter linx I'm about to provide.

He was nerdy cool in Primeval.


I like his Hatter waaaaaayyyyyy better than Johnny Depp's. Gah, there are so many good Hatter vids, it was really hard to choose just one. Fans do incredible stuff on youtube.


And Andrew Lee Potts is making a film that you can all practically live follow the progress of on Stolen Light Film on Facebook and Stolen Light Film on Twitter and Stolen Light Film on Tumblr. There is no excuse to miss this, here's your teaser. Stolen Light - Teaser 1 on Vimeo So if you want more live updates on what Andrew Lee Potts is doing, be a good fan and follow these other twitters, too.

Andrew Lee Potts on Twitter
Keychain Productions on Twitter

:edit: 5-17-15 And now he's got his Wireless web series going. You're welcome. Click the pic to see the cool new website.


8. Speaking of same sex, what did you think about Brokeback Mountain?

Ok, that's so outdated that I have to change it. What do y'all think of Merthur? Or Brolin, as some are wont. (For the less well read, wont is a real word.) If you don't like gay stuff, skip this question and go on to number 9, thanx. I thought this vid was just darn cute, and the fan who put it together did some really brilliant editing.


9. What are you obsessive about?

Proper comma placement. Oh, what the heck, that's all going out the door with twitter, right? Life is too short to twitter stress, just hash it up and throw it out there in 140 characters or less.

10. Leather face is in the kitchen. (the guy from texas chainsaw massacre)

He can kill that big spider and do my dishes while I continue watching the Web Soup marathon on G4. I am quietly dying inside over whether all that E3 and Comic-Con coverage will be parceled out to other media vendors now or what, but we're talking HOURS AND HOURS of possible lost coverage. *tears* *catching my breath* Back to Web Soup with Chris Hardwick to assuage my angsty feels. (In case you got lost in all that, G4 is rebranding soon.)


I did not know what the heck was up with Chris talking about his 'ex-wife Barbara' on the show until I got a twitter account and she followed me. 'Barbara', for the rest of you who don't get it yet, is Ann Sandretto, and if you wanna know more you can look her up yourself.



11. Do people underestimate you?

Nearly every single super awesome scifi series ever made about earth destruction, takeover, and sheer human survival has been canceled. What are the odds that Defiance will also be canceled? And people not having a clue will go to look it up and run right into a film about Jewish brothers escaping from the Nazis instead of a multi-platform shooter MMO that interconnects with a global television program on Syfy... Personally, the mangled Arch in the graphics is freaking me out. I've been up at the top of the St. Louis Arch, it's *terrifying*.



12. When you're in a bad mood, what will always put you in a better mood?

Offer me food. Never fails. And I like watching the weather screen on my phone at night when I can't sleep. I can pick a city and watch it rain or snow or glide over the clouds in the moonlight.



13. Honestly, do you talk about myspace in real life?

The old 2007 answer- "It's scary when someone walks up to me and tells me what they negatively commented on someone else's myspace just before that person shows up to a party at my house. Yeah, myspace can be pretty volatile and must be negotiated delicately." Ok, that really happened, and it got ten times worse when facebook came along (imagine me living next door to in-laws, yeah...). I'm not sure that it's psychologically healthy for people to get so wrapped up in using technology for their interpersonal interactions, so maybe it's best if I just nip this question in the bud and tell all the wandering souls reading this that I love you, I know it sux and none of it is fair, and I think you're awesome. I suck at facebook because I hardly ever go over there, but I find that much less stressful than feeling compulsed to check it all the time. I truly dig not getting comments, even when a post gets over a thousand hits. I'm like the magazine you find lying around at the doctor's office, you pick it up and read it, sometimes you tear a recipe or coupon out, and then you walk away. The best magazines are the ones that look the most shredded, am I right? And then you get all frustrated that the end of an article is missing, or someone tore out the joke page. Speaking of that, I try to go back and check youtubes every little bit and replace them if they don't work any more. I'm cool that way.

14. Have you met someone online in person?

Every time I go to the fitness center, locker #17 is empty, so that's the one I always get. I'm about ready to claim it as my own and tape up pictures of my boyfriend. That's right, I *finally* caught Scott in his underwear. Despite knowing my intentions, all he could moan about was how fat his back looks, but dang, he's pretty hot for a guy his age. Now you can see what the big deal is when he walks around distracting me. All the cougars passing by in the locker room will gasp in shock but secretly be jealous.



15. What do you hope to have accomplished by the end of the school year?

I keep getting app promos for Candy Crush Saga and I fear that if I fall for that, I'll abandon everything else I'm doing and disappear. I got pretty caught up in Cascade one year until I was literally shaking from the super intensity I was able to focus into. Click the pic to go to the app for droid.



16. Do you believe minimum wage should be raised?

I'm actually thinking about the word 'carafe' at the moment. It doesn't sound as graceful out loud as it looks in print, but I think it's a better word than 'coffee pot'. I wonder if everyone I know will think I'm a dork if I start referring to our coffee pot as a carafe. I think more than one person will automatically have to say something about a giraffe after I do. Funny what a big deal something this little is.

17. Do you have any really crazy relatives?

Literally or figuratively? There are both, but I'm curious what we're looking for here, some kind of tongue in cheek or some admission of family genetics gone bizarrely awry. I'm the one with the chickens, and if it weren't for this nasty cold weather, allergies, and a rabid fear of spiders, I'd probably be hanging out in the chicken house with my girls (my peeps, haha) right now because Scott wired it for electric. Cool, huh? #crazychickenlady



18. Pretend you're 15 deep in beers. Describe what you would be doing?

If they were in those tiny little "baby" mugs like you used to be able to get from A&W, I'd be passing around tiny little root beers to all my friends and loved ones. I really actually own one of those. They are so cute.



19. Does everyone in your life know the real you?

They are terrified to know the real me. The real me never seems to shut up. That's probably why I'm doing so well on twitter... Being on twitter is kinda like being part of the Borg, all the tweeting going on all the time, being part of a Collective, all our minds tied into timelines and 'feed', we're never alone. You can follow me on twitter at PinkyGuerrero on Twitter.

20. Last thing you said about a guy/ girl?

If I were ever being tortured for important information like my passwords, I would never be able to remember them. I'm one of those people who meticulously creates wild and crazy passwords that I constantly have to look up. But what I ~could~ do is easily rattle out my lengthy library card account number. I've typed it in so many times over the years that it could almost be my own name. I'm only saying this because I can't remember what the last thing was I said about anybody. That kind of stuff tends to fall right out of my head.

21. What is the most ridiculous fear you have?

That I might have a spider riding on my head at any given point in time. Don't laugh, this has really happened. After a softball game one night, a teenage turantula jumped off my head into my bathwater with me. I never sat on or leaned against the bleachers the rest of the season. It's terrifying to think you can't really feel something that big on your head the whole trip home in a car. I wear ballcaps now, yeah, like duh, THAT'S what they're for...

22. Do you know anyone in prison?

'Twitter jail' cracks me up. You hit an hourly or daily limit and suddenly you can't tweet any more, but experienced users just switch to alt accounts and keep going. The only thing I can think to compare twitter to that makes sense for people who don't have it is like being able to hear the baseball game on the radio when you're stuck in traffic, or like being able to have multiple conversations with several people all at once while you also read the paper and watch tv, there is no other media that so immediately connects you to everything that is happening right *now* that you are interested in. Like the Superbowl blackout. That. was. awesome.

Sorry, I get a little carried away with twitter talk. Here, have a scary video to finish melting your mind. Close your eyes and plug your ears if you don't want to suffer brain damage.


23. When is the last time you ate Peanut butter and jelly?

I'm allergic. Hey, have you guys seen The Americans? Scott got so freaked out he started thinking maybe all our neighbors are Russians spying on us. I reminded him the tv show is set in the 1980's. Probably doesn't help that we marathoned through all 8 seasons of 24 again a couple of years ago. Wonder if there are still any good Jack Bauer videos hanging around youtube... Oh, here we go, hadn't seen this one yet.




24. When did you last have a home cooked meal?

I'm having trouble wanting to eat this week, hoping it's just a bug. Hurt weird all over, kinda rubbery, nothing sounds good. Scott had to go pick up his own Superbowl munchies this year. Sorry, no food pix this round.

25. Have you ever gotten naked at a party?

Here's the latest ultrasound my oldest got just today! I've never been a gramma before, but I have chickens and I think that will make me the cool one to come visit. Scott is already planning out a trip to take both the girls and their kids to the big Star Wars thing that Disney will have, but it might be a few years. Gotta finish manufacturing the new humans and get them somewhat functional first.



26. Name who you miss.

I am always blown away at how far people will go. I mean, LARPing South Park??? (:edit: 5-18-15 I obviously filled out this survey before South Park did any kind of 3D and there were actually still videos of fans acting out South Park before everyone in the world started copying South Park going 3D or before the latest games came out or cosplaying, so instead, have a cute fan-made mashup. Actually, that was so awesome, I'm sticking a second one in by the same person.)



27. Are you named after a grandparent?

I have answered this so many times in surveys, will you people please stop naming your kids after grandparents? It's apparently bugging quite a few survey creators.

28. Who loves you?

My chickens think I'm the bomb. I wish I was twitter linked to their little minds and could catch what they were thinking in a timeline feed.

29. Do you throw up gang signs?

Better watch yourself, never know when you're going to get sucked into a time vortex and run into this guy.



30. Have you ever broken a rib?

If I did, no one has ever known. We didn't go to doctors much growing up, and my parents didn't tolerate puny whiners. I could be mangled by a crazed farm animal and still have to go do my chores. I stepped barefoot on a copperhead once. I'm no wimp. Yeah, it wasn't on purpose. Snake was just as freaked out as I was, zoomed like the snake devil was after it while I cleared a 4 foot gate.

31. Last song you heard?

I just found this on youtube, I wanna see it really bad. Comes out in June 2013.


32. What was the last thing you ate?

Oh, people people people. Chocolate chip cookie dough. THAT'S RIGHT, I'm making cookies!!!! I multitask like a maniac. It's really sad that I can't just hand you one through your screen as a thank you for visiting my site. Thank you, though, I really appreciate you stopping by.

33. How do you feel RIGHT now?

Waaaay better than yesterday. Remember I couldn't answer the what's the last thing you ate question? And I said I wouldn't have any food pix this time? Guess what...



34. Have you driven anywhere today?

Ok, that was cruel. But I really do make the awesomest chocolate chip cookies ever. Hot, soft, melty gooey chocolate chips....

35. Whats your hair like?

This is the first pony tail I've had in about 5 years, growing it out. There was a time it was over two feet long, lately it's been short and fun. Kind of in a transition stage right now. You can easily find the t-shirt by putting 'Wesley Crushers t-shirt' in your search bar. A young lady at my bank cracked the biggest smile when I walked in, great way to tag the nerdy people in your life, just wear a cool tee.



36. Would you ever work for the border patrol?

Scott checks the yard for what the neighborhood dogs leave behind. I get full reports with great enthusiasm about how he's going to get even.

37. Who's car were you in last?

My own. And since this question is so boring, I'll tell you a true story from my old car days. Our former neighbor, well off older man with a nice house, traveled a lot, also into wood carving and composting, but he had a terrible time with mice getting into his house. An entire nest of them lived under the compost pile he so carefully nurtured. After he died and the compost pile croaked off, the mice moved around a bit, and one got into the trunk of my car somehow and made a nest, which we didn't find until later. I drove into town one morning, stopped in at McDonald's, was inside eating my breakfast when customers stood up shouting, Look, a *mouse*! And I looked up to where everyone was pointing out the window, and sure enough, there was this big monster mouse running across the parking lot toward the building, and of course, I can clearly see that if he's going in a straight line, he must have come from MY car. omg. So I quietly finished my breakfast and left as quickly as possible and have wondered ever since then whether that McDonald's had to go through an extra inspection and pricey extermination over me bringing the biggest mouse anyone ever saw into town unawares.

38. Where did u go?

Oh, I had no idea the above question would be continued. I'm so glad now that I entertained you, because this one would have had no answer.

39. What High School are you going to?

I'm surprised to find myself running with a twitter gang, and I'm not sure there's a way out. I think I made it through initiation, not sure when I'll have to get the tattoo and cut off someone's thumb, but it's nice to belong, and I get perks all over their territory, and you can, too, come play with us! Click the banner to go check it out.




40. Are you going to homecoming?

With my last batch of chickens I was able to figure out who laid which eggs, but I'm having a tougher time with this bunch. See that pretty speckled one? No idea, but I'm pretty sure it's not T'Pol's because she's not a heavy laying breed and we get one of these nearly every day. I'm betting it's Myka's, she's a production cross called an Indian River. The rest I'm pretty sure about.



41. Have you ever been in an interracial relationship?

I used to have this duck... I got a kick out of how badly the hens beat the crap out of him, but it never stopped him from trying again, over and over and over. I caught one of their fights on camera and put it on a youtube called Menage a Trois Gone Awry and didn't realize for years that it got all those hits because people thought it was a sex video. Sorry, it's gone now. I'm dumb and deleted it.

42. Is your birthday on a holiday?

I was born on United Nations Day, which is one day after Weird Al's birthday.

43. Are you old enough to vote?

There was no vote, the groundhog said spring WILL come early this year, and no one can stop it. He's probably part of a crime fighting group hellbent on stopping an evil overlord conspiring to force us all into submission. I say Go Groundhog, yeah!



44. Do you have any friends or family in the war right now?

The best way to eat bbq ribs is right over the pan they just cooked in. I just stopped and ate some. Live action survey here, folks! Ew. Oh, nevermind, that's just sauce on my keyboard. Little bit sticky now. And yes, I know people in the military. They rock. I hope they get awesome bbq ribs, too.



45. Are you a vegitarian?

No, but I'm an excellent speller. I do like vegetables, though.

46. Do you worry about global warming?

I worry more what's going to happen when I am forced to drive an electric car and desperately need a recharge and I'm still a mile from my house in very inclement weather. It'll be as fun as running out of gas all the time. I'm answering this question while I watch Nemo coverage on the weather channel.

47. Do you like polar bears

I've heard that if you eat polar bear liver it will kill you because the vitamin A is so toxic. So if I have to eat a polar bear, I will probably stick to the filet mignon part.

48. Do you like alligators?

I have eaten alligator tail, and somewhere there is an alligator running around with a stub. I feel sorta bad about that.

49. Which of the Marley brothers do you like best?

I wanna change this. Which of The Sklar Brothers do you like best? I tend to go for glasses.



50. What slang word do you call marijuana?

Ha, this survey was written by a teenager on pot. How funny.

51. Do you have to get your wisdom teeth out?

No, but I bet you do, you rascally survey creator. Ask me if I've ever had heart surgery or something.


52. Ashley or Mary-Kate?

Kathy Griffin This pot smoking survey creator with a wisdom teeth problem has a crush on the Olsen twins. Of all the things I've ever put into a survey that could lose me followers, it's probably Kathy, but it's not like I inundate you people with her, so jump down to 53 if this annoyed you.



53. Do you wear your sweetie's clothes?

My sweetie crawls under the car and climbs all over the roof, there is no way I'm putting those clothes on. I fuss at him a lot for bringing spiders in. They hitchhike in and drop off in the kitchen as he walks by me, can't tell you how many times this has actually happened, and even though he might have *just* got back from deer hunting through all kinds of brush and wilderness, he never believes he's the one bringing spiders in.

54. Do you have a tan?

If you're into white Irish actor/directors named Eoin, there's a whole pinterest full of him at Eoin Macken. If you wanna know more go to his site at Blank Canvas Pictures. I'm mostly doing this because I like to irritate him, he retweeted me the other day, and I made a new friend on twitter because of it.



55. Where were you one hour ago?

Just one? Probably in the kitchen looking for something to eat.

56. Life.. how do you feel about it?

It sux, but I don't care. What the heck, I'll take it anyway. I kind of think pain is what drives us and makes us human, and I defy some wimpy alien to come inhabit THIS body.... BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

57. Have you ever logged on to your bf/gf/crush's Myspace page?

Scott is so paranoid he won't even let me watch him type in a password to one of his fantasy football teams so I won't be able to sabotage them after he took my team over and made me LOSE. >=l

58. Which do you enjoy more: Soccer or Hockey

I think I'm at zero on both. There is no 'more' than the other. However, I'm interested in Celebrity Soccer 6 because Team Merlin was at and near the top the last two years, and that's Team Merlin from the tv show Merlin, not the plane and helicopter stuff. You can get updates from SoccerSix on Twitter "The worlds biggest celebrity football tournament. 2013 dates coming soon!" SoccerSix recently retweeted me, too, pretty cool.



59. Name someone you love.

This is the other grandbaby under construction, 13 weeks.



60. Would you rather have a million dollars or true love?

I've already got the true love, working on the million bucks.

61. Which of your MySpace friends has a naughty piercing?

Every time I see the word MySpace in this survey I have flashbacks to what the world was like before facebook. MySpace was so a hundred years ago. That was even before I started following Wil Wheaton on twitter. I started following Anne (his wife) last month because I discovered it adds so much more depth to Wil's tweets. That very tweet Wil made right there is the one that compelled me to follow Anne on twitter, I couldn't imagine what he was talking about.



62. Is your boyfriend/girlfriend a marine?

"Scott is a workhorse. He is TOUGHER than a marine. He can carry a hundred pound river rock up a hill and then go get another one, and do this for a couple of hours before he even stops to get a drink. And he's not even a great big muscley guy." --Ok, I wrote that 6 years ago, before he wound up having hernia surgery...

63. Are you currently in a relationship?

I *nearly* got Xander Bennett's book Cages for 2 cents on Amazon.com last November. That's right 2 pennies. I'm sure it was a typo. The order went through just fine, $4.01 with shipping, got notice of a ship date 3 days later, waited and waited and waited... Finally contacted Amazon in January and said Hey, whadup, didn't get my book, so they refunded. I looked it up again, discovered there are both new and used copies going for over $100 (one is currently at $169). Granted, some new and used are still under $40 (I got a good used one for about $30), but I think maybe those sellers just aren't aware other sellers are asking for way more because it's out of print. And I think the 2 cent seller I accidentally found must have panicked when my order came through and saw the 2 cent thing, held onto the book, entered a fake ship invoice, and sat back waiting for me to be refunded. It's all kind of funny, too bad it didn't slip on through, because I would have loved being able to say I got it for 2 cents. I asked Xander if he gets anything at all out of the copies going for over $100, he said not a dime from anyone. I looked up the publisher, they went out of business in 2010, and I'm thinking what a good lesson I'm learning for my own future. Mainly, if my publisher crashes, buy the books back up myself and relist them for collector prices because they're rare and out of print... Anyway, Cages is a cool story in the form of a bound comic (Melanie Cook illustrated), would love to see it as a movie, and here's a teaser.



64. Would you rather date someone 2 years younger or older?

I always sucked at dating. It was such a relief to get married and not have to go through the angst of dating any more. The few times in the past that I thought of divorce, just the fleeting thoughts of having to date again were enough to move my contentment back up a few notches. Way past that now, Scott and I went out on a date to AutoZone this morning and it was pretty awesome. It's nice being best friends. (:edit: Scott is 5 years older than me, by the way.)

65. What's your favorite junk food?

Coffee. I know that's weird. I can have only half a cup a day because I'm so hypersensitive to caffeine, so I buy really nice expensive coffee for a beautiful experience.

66. Who was the last person who messaged you?

A twitter friend. I am ~really~ digging this commercial. :edit: Since this survey is pre Pinky Stuff, I have no idea what commercial that might have been. The Xanga server transfer did such a thorough job of wiping vids that there weren't even broken codes left laying around for hints. Here is one of my all time faves.


67. Do you know what your wearing the 1st day of school?

I just had a sobering thought. You know how it's always happy hour somewhere in the world? It's always the first day of school or training somewhere in the world.

68. Are you taller than 5'6?

Fernando doesn't seem too worried about it.


Let's have a good day!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

:edit: 5-17-15 Just wanna add that this particular survey was so code smashed that it took me an extra year to even face it, and I am rebuilding it line by line just to make it legible again with real videos, because this is important to me. I know no other way to thank all the cool people making awesome gifs, cartoons, youtubes, artwork, and everything else on the internet that keeps me going.


This is for all the people reading the internet in the dark because they can't sleep, or hanging on during the day while they're feeling alone waiting for time to pass. I'm with you. I am one of you.


We can do this, guys.

Monday, September 8, 2014

30 Unusual ?’s

Originally posted 7-10-08.

1. To whom did you last give the finger?
When I was growing up my mom said it’s not polite to point, so I use my elbow.  With my sunglasses on, it kinda looks like I’m undercover when I do that.  I am much cooler doing it than anything you are imagining right now.

2. If you had 1,000,000 dollars what would you buy?
I don’t know.  I mean, you’ve gotta have a million in collateral just to apply for a Sonic franchise (betcha didn’t know that, eh?), so it’s not like I could really flaunt it or anything.  And I hate shopping.  Maybe I could be a rich hermit living in squalor with chickens in my yard.  I could buy a really awesome rifle to shoot at people who show up asking for favors.




3. What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?
I have this habit of turning my head to talk right about the time the glass is supposed to meet my lips, so it’s not unusual to see streaks of ice tea dumped down my shirt.  I tried a straw once and poked it right in my eye turning my head to talk, so straws are out.

4. Are you different now than you were 6 months ago?
My hair sorta grew…  Is this a trick question?  Like, do I have another arm or something?  Or did my IQ shoot up another hundred points?  Or maybe I discovered I can fling myself off buildings and fly?  I’ve lost 10 pounds since last year, which was surprising to realize.

5. Have you kissed anyone in the last three days?
It’s bad luck to kiss a duck.  I’ll let you find out why the hard way.


6. When was the last photograph you took?
This little guy was on my arm a few days ago.



7. Where were you last night around 9:30?
Please don’t ask me any stupid questions in this one.  I picked this survey because it said “unusual”.

8. What do you think of guys that wear eyeliner?
I can’t get Scott to try it.  I’ve pointed out all the news people and actors who wear it, but he still thinks it will instantly neuter him.  I like eyeliner on guys.

9. How many hours did you sleep last night?
Dang it, stick to “unusual”, or I’m going to lose my temper.

10. Whats on your Mp3 player?
You assume I have an Mp3 player.  You must be a young’un.

11.Been in a fight?
I am the Steven Seagal of middle aged women.  At least in my head.



12. How was the last egg you ate prepared?
I could go into the culinary details, or I could leave you hanging.  Or I could gross you out with this.  How a Hen Lays Her Egg

13. Where did you last wear sunglasses?
Out in the sun?  I’m getting a little impatient over the decline in “unusual” in these questions.

14. Ever worn your underwear backwards?
You are such a dork for even asking this one.

15. Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence.
I don’t think I’ve ever killed a survey maker this early in the survey.

16. Does it bother you when people put && before every sentence?
The aspie in me is asking what the heck you’re talking about.  &&?  Just for that-

17. What animal did you last pet or hold?
Spencer pecked me.  I think she was testing my hull integrity.

18. What was the last law you broke?
I shot a survey maker with an arrow.



19. What are you wearing?
Big stinkin’ ugly headphones because this kick ass awesome monitor doesn’t have any sound or phone jacks at all, so we had to plug these in to the back of the hard drive because it has a really long cord.  Great sound, though.  Oh, yeah, and a very thin nightgown that you can’t see because I’m a cruel tease.



20. What did you think of your last kiss?
Scott has good lips.


21. What was the last newspaper you read or skimmed?
Scott showed me a Pearls Before Swine that is totally me.


22. What was the last thing written on your hand?
My youngest had this thing about writing on herself, and it wasn’t uncommon during kindergarten to find her covered head to toe in long streaks of ink or permanent marker.  She’s 20 now and very particular about looking nice, so I really don’t see that any more.  Whatever winds up on my hand is accidental.  If it spells anything, it’s probably in 
Farsi, and since I can’t read Farsi, I have no idea what it says.

23. What was the last hair product you used?
*dumping shampoo on survey maker*

24?  Oh, 24, where are you?  Wow, this is *soooo* a sign from the heavens to put some funny Jack Bauer vids here…















25. What was the last medication you took?
I’m loaded on 
vicodin.  Actually, this is the first time I’ve had a full dose (one whole pill) in nearly a year.  I’m allergic to everything from ibuprofen to lyrica, so I’m allowed to be strictly monitored on narcotics.  I usually take half a pill twice a day, far below amounts taken by other people for similar spinal pain, because I have a huge phobia over pills (thanx to all the bad med reactions I’ve had), and I really hate the way they make me feel goofy.  Here’s a true story.

I know this woman named Patty, my age.  We were retailing together when I first met her about ten years ago.  At the time she was completely dependent on kidney dialysis and had a ‘button’ she had to plug into every night while she slept.  I’d seen it, because she worried about if it showed under her clothes, and she’d have me go in the bathroom with her and check.  I think her kidneys shut down from a drug overdose, but by the time I met her, she was off the drugs and on tons of meds.  I let her bum vicodin and several other meds off me all the time.  I was a walking pharmacy.  She also hurt her back really bad (gosh, NOW I know what that feels like) and was popping three vicodins at a time just to keep working, and if she had any med questions she came to me, because I was really up on my med info.  I knew what not to put together, what to leap frog every two hours, how much she could get away with, because I’d been on handfuls of meds for over a decade myself.  She was pending for back surgery, and I supplied her for doubling up, because of all things, they put her in housewares and domestics, which is really heavy work.  She even lost a finger handling freight.  Here she was about as disabled as they come, pulling off Wonder Woman, so management never believed her, and they tried their best to drive her to quit.  She was ornery as hell and managed to ‘pull it off’, and I totally respected her.

We were kinda strange together.  She actually didn’t like me at all, but my dept. was adjacent to hers, so I saw her all the time.  She confronted me many times about whatever, threatened to hurt me, etc, and honestly, I liked her.  I thought she was cool, pretty much the other half of my quiet side, and I always let it roll off.  I figured she had enough to deal with without me getting uppity about my feelings being hurt or anything, and besides, retail is a tough world.  We had 150 employees round the clock from dock to checkout, and most of us didn’t like each other, so no big deal.  Anyway, after we both left the store, I’ve run into her several times, always working hard, sometimes looking like hell.  She once went into this total iron poisoning from some med she was on, and had big sores all over her face.  When I was at Social Security last fall applying for disability, she was there, too, looked at least 15-20 years older than me, still on heavy meds and using a cane, still trying to work.  I guess she’s made it through it all, but was the sacrifice worth it?  She’s not even 50 yet.  She looks over 60.  She aged so much just in the last ten years since I first met her, it was hard not to stare at her.  We sat and talked like we were old friends yapping about stuff, but it was very brief and surreal, mostly just catching up with all the jobs we’d had and the medical conditions we’d gone through and then they called her name.
I could do that.  I could just keep popping handfuls of pills and keep going.  I could keep destroying my body while nobody around me believes I’m really in so much pain because I’m super human.  I can destroy my liver and kidneys on medications and wind up with a cane or a walker before I’m 55.  I can keep it all together and shorten my life span by a good 20 years.

Or I can break my pills in half and take proper care of myself and keep the rest of my body healthy, even though the pain sux.

We live in a strange world.  We feel guilty if we don’t work hard, because that’s the American way.  We feel paranoid about pain and death and pop pills like candy, because that’s the thing to do nowadays.  We let everyone else dictate what is right and good and fear to ask the questions and find our own answers because our society is lost in the information age and mysticism, and even modern religion and science are big scary machines to people who feel alone in their houses and apartments.  The only sure thing in our worlds is that white sales come in January after the big after Christmas sales, and that Progressive.com is there to compare prices for us.  We don’t know any more how to just relax and take a day off and not do anything.

Which seems to be what my life is all about now.  The art of doing very little.  And sharing what I’ve learned.

26. Who was the last person to make you laugh?
Me, actually.  I had one of those depressing realizations that this time last year I was looking forward to stuff getting better because I thought it sucked *then*, and everything just went downhill from there over the next year, and I had to laugh at how idiotic it is to try to be optimistic.  Silly me!!!    I know better than that!  Expect the worst, and then when it doesn’t happen, your day (or year) is going pretty good, right?  It probably helped that I was on the vicodin, because I really did giggle.


27. To what song did you last sing along to?
A commercial, because it annoyed Scott.    

28. What was the last musical instrument played in your presence?
Youtube.  Dang, I’ve made it nearly to the end without actually killing the survey maker…  I must have forgotten.

30. What’s the last good thing you read?
Who cares?  More importantly, what happened to #29?  Let’s enjoy some unusual youtubes made by awesome fans who knew I’d need entertainment at 3 a.m.  For some reason, these really crack me up. :edit: Sorry, the server migration wiped those codes, no clue what I had put here. How about one of my fave little Jack Bauer ditties.