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Thursday, October 23, 2014

simple survey (epic winning!)

Originally posted on 7-19-11.

Basics

Name
I’m surprised that people actually think they need to fill this part out.  This isn’t a job application.


Birthday
I’m turning a half century old later this year.  It’s weird to think about how many people I knew or have heard of that never made it this far.

Hometown
This info is no longer sacred or valid if they can just rip an alt timeline into new Trek and make James T. Kirk born out in space instead of Iowa.

Height
People don’t understand why I refused to rise to a number of various heights in my life, yet dare me to stoop to their levels.  I hover at a happy medium.

Weight
42 pounds less than 6 months ago and holding.  My sister says I’ve plateaued.  I know it’s really that I can’t help having hot chocolate every day.

Style
I can easily pull off being the most unmatched person on the planet.  J’adore throwing wild purple and pink paisley lounge pants with green or orange tees and blue striped footies, par example.  Likewise, I can suddenly do super cool with my black paisley lounge pants trimmed in big black lace with my black Ghost Hunters tee and black sox.  Notice the paisley theme keeps popping up.  That’s prolly my style.

eye color
It freaks me out to look too closely at my eyes.  I’ve never been able to accurately describe the value and hue of the color I seem to see in the mirror because I don’t look at them long enough to decide.

hair color
Plain.  Very plain.  I’ve often wondered why humans don’t have variegated hair color like animals.  You never see stripes, spots, or any other assorted color pattern on the human head.

Most overused phrase
Scott says I say “What are you doing?” too much, but when you have a virtual Tim the Toolman Taylor around, yeah, you tend to start asking before the explosions go off. 

Tattoos
Tats don’t impress me.  I’ve seen old wrinkly guys with old army tattoos, the colors fade, the shapes change, you sprout moles and hairs and age spots all over them, and you never can make out what it was originally supposed to be.  Likewise, I have a niece who prioritized getting really expensive full body tattoos and a self medicated lifestyle over keeping custody of her child, and it’s hard not to see other women her age with tattoos and kids as making unhealthy choices, as well.  Tattoos are probably a nice hobby for people who can afford them, or significant milestone markers in someone’s life, but a couple generations down the road from us might look back on them as ridiculous forms of self expression.  They certainly don’t raise the overall look of one’s IQ, and come across as a bling binge for the self absorbed.  –that was very Daniel Tosh-ish.  I think that Tosh marathon that I dvr’d earlier this month fried my brain.

Single or Taken
I have a mate, everyone just back off.

Favorites

Food
If we ever get taken as slaves by space aliens, do you think they’ll create a generic dried kind of food for us like we feed to pets?

Actors
I’ve lately taken to following Wil Wheaton on twitter, but I’m really not terribly into actors.  I think it’s weird to do that.

Actresses
Also following Olivia Munn.  Sorta still weirded out by the Amanda Tapping metamorphosis, but what the heck.

Music
Every time I hear speculation about what aliens must think of humans becoming more advanced when our tv and radio waves reach them, I laugh.  There couldn’t be a bigger quarantine in the universe than around the continual nonsense that shrouds our planet in sheer noise pollution.  Just because we yap incessantly doesn’t mean we’re by any means smarter than we used to be.  But if they do show up, I think Charlie Sheen should be our earth representative.  That’ll distract them for awhile. 



Movies
The box office keeps me from believing our economy is in any real kind of trouble.  When film makers no longer make millions or more back on movies, I will believe we are in dire straits.  Likewise, all you gamers out there, we’re depending on you to keep capitalism alive.  By the way, how is it that The Mummy drifts around satellite channels more often than any other movie in the world?

Foreign Food
I really don’t care to venture out and get terribly foreign on my palette.  The World of Rare Food: Bird’s Nest Soup  When we start eating fried chicken combs and grilled dogs feet in the United States, I will believe our economy has tanked.  Until then, you can’t convince me anything eaten by the desperately poor for hundreds of years is delectable cuisine.

Language
This one.  I’ve got the rules down pretty good, I think.  Anyone else watch the national spelling bee on natgeo?  I think I could have pulled off making it into the finals as a kid.

Foreign Country
I’ve always liked a quote that included the phrase ”little bitty Latvia.”  Prolly got that from an old tv show called Misfits of Science.  I also happened to have an anthropology professor who was born in Latvia.  Funny how many people I run into who have no idea Latvia even exists.  I think Latvia is a fun word to say.

Color
I tend to like very specific colors of blue.  If you really really really wanna see, go to this chart and look for 3399FF, 00CCFF, and 3300FF.  There are several extremely specific shades that aren’t on that chart, and my two very fave shades can only be found on mountain bluebirds and embroidery thread, probably because a certain vibrancy won’t translate over a monitor like it does in 3D.

Drink
Filtered water.  Goes with anything.

Word
I get a kick out of poorly worded phrases.  I passed a sign to a tiny church today that read “Overcoming Faith Church”.  Lotta things to overcome in this world- obesity, homelessness, faith… 

Pet
My chickens love watermelon.  We’ve hit 104-106 several times in the last week.  And that’s before the heat index. 

Attractions

Eye ColorAll my chickens have yellow eyes.

Hair Color
I’m not into matching flocks, I generally get 10 different breeds at the very least when I pick up new chicks.

Religion
Not into ANY organized religion.  True religion is caring for widows and orphans (broken families) in their time of distress, put as simply as possible by the one guy who turned the religious world upside down.  Guys wearing suits in churches don’t do anything for me, nor do people in ceremonial robes or long beards or whatever they think makes them look more pious.

Height
Scott’s the perfect height.

Age
This is silly.

Body type
Skinny nerd who can climb a ladder with an 80 pound stack of roofing tiles over one shoulder and can nimbly leap off the same ladder and land catlike while throwing a chainsaw clear after a big branch suddenly plunges from over-the-head one-handed sawing.  And I didn’t have to find him on a dating site, how about that.

Race
Used to always win, kinda hitting that wimpy middle age challenge.  It’s cute watching him croak off after a sprint.

Piercings
I’ve never seen anyone walk around with so many splinters under their fingernails, and he’d rather let them rot there than let me come at him with a needle.  Fish hook in the face is a different story, just push it on through.

Tattoos
He works with ink all day, comes home discolored as it is, hates needles, so I guess it’s more like a freestyle splash of art.

Shoe size
What is this obsession with shoe size?  I think I’ve had this question several times lately.

Personality

Wild or Laid back
When everyone believes you are the best at keeping your cool, no one ever thinks it might be you who punked them.   

Goofy or Serious-
Well, that ‘guffy’ spelling kinda brought out my serious spelling side.  Other than correcting all the ‘ei’ ‘ie’ mixups, the spelling has been otherwise better than usual in this survey, so ‘guffy’ was a little surprising.

Hip Hop, Punk, Rock, or Country
New age, classical, baroque, Spanish…  You can always tell a survey made by a young person in a typical middle class lifestyle.

Personal Views On

Sex
I’m so tired of hearing about everyone else’s views on sex, I ~DON’T CARE~.  Yes, that is my personal view on sex.

Relationships
Never assume a chicken isn’t watching every move you make.  You get good at chicken socialization, you have a friend for life.  Which, in chicken years, isn’t that long.

Cheating
I’ve never cheated in any game I’ve played.  Ever.  I have reverse cheated on tests because I knew the person copying off me would fail the test that way and I thought it was funny to see how many times they’d keep copying off me.  You’d be surprised at how much faith people have in other people who ‘look smart’.

Dating
I’ve never eaten a date.  My dad used to think they were the bomb and he got a special sampler pack every Christmas.

Marriage
18 years of best friend coming up in August.  My view on that is patience pays off more than being selfish does.

Children
Do you know how many baby chicks die because new chicken hobbyists don’t have a clue what they’re doing?  I think people should have to pass a test before taking baby chicks home.

Religion
Do a little digging, betcha have no clue how many new religions have been started by freemasons.

The Opposite Sex
I like variety.  So glad the world isn’t all one kind or sex.

Love  No greater love has a person than to sacrifice for a friend.  Unless you’re a fool and let people just walk all over you because you’re needy and they’re dysfunctional and mean.  Sometimes love means standing up to the people giving you crap, like when the neighbor’s dog chases my chickens.  I love my neighbor enough to warn them I’ll shoot their dog next time.  And sometimes the best love is just leaving other people alone instead of bugging them.  Everybody needs a day off.

Turns out this survey wasn’t so simple.

LifeSurvey Generated at QuizAsk.com