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Sunday, September 21, 2014

old survey with no title

Originally posted on 9-22-08.

1. What is a question that people ask you that always gets on your nerves? 
Anything about my personal sex life or orientation.  I find it annoying that they don’t show as much interest in how I feel about the raging debate over the age of the universe and how many P branes can curl up on the head of a pin.

2. Name something you have in common with all your siblings.
We’ve all gone through a weird Wahoo obsession.  I still have a game board from before I was ten.

3. What is the greatest amount of physical pain you have ever endured?
I think we’re all sick to death of me talking about pain, so I’ll give it a break.

4.  What number of drinks constitutes your limit?
I try to stop at one hot chocolate.  I’m getting to where I can handle two in one day if I only do it once or twice a week.  Severe caffeine problem.

5. Do you fold your underwear?
I actually googled “compulsively folds underwear” just now and got a whole list of people answering this question in great detail.

6. Who is the last person you wrote a letter to on paper?
If I’m writing a letter on paper, I expect either a refund or someone to tie up their dog.

7.  Have you fired a gun before?
Several.  My favorite was a little plastic thing that shot small balls because I could do it in the house.  I’m not real big on squirt guns.  I’ve also shot a black powder pistol and a few rifles.  And B-B guns.  Cap guns.  Man, I sound like I’m around guns all the time.  I’m not now, actually, but my first marriage got a little hairy because my husband stole guns and was constantly taking them apart to blue them, and I couldn’t take a shower because gun parts were hanging by wires from the shower rod.

8. Name someone you consider a genius:
My duck is pretty good at phase shifting.  You never see how she gets across the yard faster than the chickens running and flying when they’re in a panic.  The duck is suddenly just there.  I think she’s rigged up a little portable device like they’re always using in Stargate shows.  She’s probably smarter than Rodney McKay.

9. What was your favorite childhood toy?
We had a severe lack of toys.  I bonded with the Monopoly board.

10. Name a sound that disturbs you:
Cats fighting and/or mating and/or hacking up fur balls.

11.  Name something random you would never do:
Pick up a strange guy to bring home.  I’m always stunned at how easily people do this and how often it brings them grief.

12. Name a person whose diary you would love to read:
I dunno, Kiefer Sutherland maybe?  I have no burning questions in my mind about anyone’s private lives.  Blogging has pretty much brought journaling out of the closet.

13. Have you ever had the same dream more than once?
And each time I get a little closer to solving the problem of how to land the crippled plane in the dark and driving rain over a big city without killing everyone.

14. Name something that makes you happy:
No.

15. Name something that made you laugh today.
A chicken chasing a frog is pretty funny.

16. If you were in an emergency situation and you had to deliver a baby, could you do it?
I’ve had my arm inside a goat, but I swear I would never do that to a human.  I’d just go ahead and do the caesarian with my paring knife.

17.  What is on your refrigerator door?

dogscantcount 

18. Name the closest thing to you that is green?
Well, whadayaknow, there’s nothing green near me.  Guess I’ll make the questions green.

19. If someone who didn’t know you had to guess your name, what would it be?
I’ve been called Patricia, Marsha, Jeanine, Brenda…  For some reason I’m one of those generic one face fits all people.  No one has ever called me Amy, though.  I must not look like an Amy.  My dad sometimes calls me John.  He’s getting to where he has to go over the list of his kids’ names and pick one, but you’d think he’d get mine right, I’m right at the top.


20. Name something you have to do tomorrow.
I’ve discovered there is no ‘have to’ in the world that can’t be seriously interrupted by something else, and that any time I think I ‘have to’ do something, plans abruptly change beyond my control.  I expect wild spontaneity at any moment when I ‘have to’ do something.  So for me to say I ‘have to’ do something, I’m literally jinxing myself and tempting fate and falling for the illusion that is this life.

21. Name a movie you are looking forward to watching:
I’m still finishing up all the Jake 2.0′s I dvr’d.

22. Have you ever called 911?
They go Oh, her again.  Ok, kidding.  It’s been awhile.



23. Name something you’ve heard about women that tends to be true:
I find that they can be pretty territorial, no matter how friendly they seem.

24. Do You Own An iPod?
I own a cd player that is at least 10 years old and still going strong.  I’m pretty frugal.  There’s this old guy I heard about from a store tech who was putting every scrap of music he ever heard and liked onto an iPod for safe keeping, hundreds and hundreds of really hard to get songs, and the thing crashed on him…

25. What Was The Last Movie You Watched?



26. Do Any Of Your Friends Have Children?
Ah, but do I have *friends*?


27. What CD Is Currently In Your Cd Player?




28. Do You Prefer Regular Or Chocolate Milk?
You know how people are going back to the organic stuff and buying fresh raw milk off the farms again?  I grew up on that, both goat and cow milk.  Good stuff, yes.  But you’ve gotta be on top of it, people used to die from listeria and other bacteria species in milk before pasteurization came along.  Raw milk spoils incredibly fast, and you can get really sick from it.  *I* have.  And be very picky about the jars being sanitized, etc.  I ~love~ milk, but I’m immune compromised, and the last time I tried some ‘organic’ milk from a local farm I regretted it for a week.  So be smart, ok?
CBC News In Depth: Food Safety- Raw Milk 

29. Has Anyone Told You A Secret This Week?
Actually, someone has told me a really big secret that seems to be less of a real secret and more of a self gossip starter to get attention, and it got so ridiculous that I finally just couldn’t take it any more and stopped communicating.  I’m not into that kind of crap.

30. When Was The Last Time You Had Starbucks?
We buy the packages at Walmart and make it at home.  Much cheaper.


31. Can You Whistle?
I try not to.  Not only do I find it incredibly annoying, but I can’t believe people actually sit around and talk about it.
The dying art of whistling – The FRA Forums

32. Do You Have A Trampoline In Your Back Yard?
People around these parts put them in their front yards, makes a real nice eyesore.  And then they fly around into other people’s yards during tornado warnings.  That part cracks me up.

33. Do You Think People Talk About You Behind Your Back?
It’s hilarious how many people feel the need to come running to tell me when they do.  Um, yeah, let’s talk about them behind their backs back at them.

34. What Movie Do You Know Every Line To?
I don’t exactly have memory loss as much as memory disruption since the Bell’s Palsy (complicated with lyme disease and lupus…).  I would have said Star Wars, but I can’t say that any more.


Where are 35 and 36?

37. Are You Currently Wanting Any Piercings Or Tattoos:
I’m currently wanting some breakfast, and I’m thinking French toast sounds mighty fine.

38. Would You Ever Date Anyone Covered In Tattoos?
I wouldn’t care about the tattoos themselves as much as all that investment being a sign of distracting one’s self from dealing with a personal issue, or two, or three…  I understand body art and cultural symbolism, but so many people are doing it for the sheer trendiness of it.  I know this chick who got married, and she and her new husband spent ALL the wedding money on tattoos.  Then she got pregnant and spent ALL the Christmas money she got on a $400 tattoo.  Her goal is to have a full body tattoo.  But her skin is worth around $1500 now, and she’s living at government defined poverty level with a new baby.  I’m not sure how much more ludicrous that kind of spending can get.  You can bet I didn’t give her money for her baby shower.

39. What Did You Do Before This?
Do you really care that I did some laundry and went outside to let my chickens out of the pen?

40. When Was The Last Time You Slept On The Floor:
I will never sleep on the floor of a hospital waiting room again.  I’m not as tough as I used to be.

41. How Many Hours Of Sleep Do You Need To Function?
I functioned for 25 years without sleep.  I’m making up for it now.

42. Are You Picky About Spelling And Grammar?
I’ve been wondering why you’re capitalizing all the words in your questions…  I’ll go back and correct typos in old posts from last year if I run into them, but I really don’t care if other people do it.  Life is too short to worry about a misplaced comma.

43. Do You Get Along Better With The Same Sex Or The Opposite?
I’m not a people person in the first place.  But I prefer hens over roosters.

44. Do you sleep on your side, stomach, or back?
Do you need a picture?  This is getting dumb.  I spent several years sleeping sitting up.  Do you care?


45. Do You watch The news?
I find the news so deficient and repetitive and shallow on ANY channel that I tend to avoid it.  If I want to know anything, I hit the search engines, or catch BBC or Chinese news on satellite.


46. Who Was The Last Person To Make You Mad?
I’m too tired to get very upset any more.  It’s just not worth it.


47. Name one place you would rather be right now?
Is it ok if I’m content to sit here?  I had a long summer.


48. Do you feel alone?
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to NOT feel alone?  What if we had a hive mind or telepathic communication?  What if we could never truly BE alone?  Even on my loneliest days, I’ll take feeling alone any day over wishing I could be alone.  My head is a busy enough place without someone else being in there, too.  It would be like not ever getting to hang up the phone.


And it looks like we stop abruptly right there.  Guess the survey maker thought he/she was a alone and didn’t realize someone was sneaking up on them…  We will never know what happened.