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Tuesday, September 16, 2014

still another survey

Originally posted 1-28-09. I was in a lot of pain doing this one.

Do you have any pets?
I’m a ‘chicken fancier’.  That used to be a nice term until the gays took it over.  Anyway, I’m a hobbyist into raising different breeds of chickens and keeping track of development, mannerisms, hardiness, production, etc.  My chickens follow me around, so I am also a successful chicken herder.

What color shirt are you wearing?
Still white so far, haven’t spilled anything on it yet.  Not that I care.  It’s one of those ancient t-shirts you love and can’t part with, holes all over, restaurant logo on the back.

Name three things that are physically close to you:
Everybody jumped up yelling “Me! me!”  Ok, let me choose– the dirty kleenex, the empty mug with hot chocolate crusting inside, and a really cool slice of geode rock that looks like blue stained glass.

What is the last book you read?
I’m currently perusing “Birds”, a handy pocket sized Golden Guide.  Did you know there are 3 different regional colors for blue jays?  I’ve had all 3 at my feeder this year.

Are you or were you a good student?
Yeah, I aced my way around the campus.  I won’t dazzle you with my ACT score.

What’s your favorite sport?
Football, badminton, and horse racing.  What a combo.

Do you enjoy sleeping late?
I’m almost always the first one up.  I really like my quiet time, and sometimes the best way to get it is to get up around 3 in the morning.

What’s the weather like right now?
Inch of ice and freezing rain, then sleeting for 12 hours straight, 4 inches of snow on top of that.

Who tells the best jokes?
The best jokes are the ones that spontaneously just happen and you laugh your head off at something.

What was the last thing you dreamed about
My chickens were helping Jack Bauer nab the bad guys.  Good action. 

Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
:edit: video replaced, same song



Do you believe in karma?
I’m wondering who the heck I killed in my last life to deserve this kind of pain.

Do you believe in luck?
In spite of how everything looks, I feel incredibly lucky it’s not all worse.

Do you like your eggs scrambled or sunny side up?
I have learned to never order eggs in a restaurant.  No one cooks eggs as perfectly as I do, because I am so picky.  I have repeatedly asked for eggs over hard, poached hard, even scrambled dry, and I continually get eggs with runny whites no matter where I go.  If I wanted raw eggs I would have asked for them.  Not sure how other people are able to eat oozy eggs.  To me that’s like eating bloody meat.  When I’m at home I make the most beautiful eggs, the whites perfectly done with the yolks just barely set so Scott can dip his toast in them, and it’s NOT HARD to do that.  So I don’t know why I’ve never gotten a pretty egg at IHOP or any waffle house or other breakfast place I’ve been to.  And people wonder why they’re sick all the time.

Do you collect anything? If so, what?
I collect eggs every day.  So far Dooney is ahead.  (I keep a chart.  They get stickers.)

Are you proud of yourself?
It’s dangerous to reach that point.  That’s when people have to start bragging, and next thing you know, someone spills their guts about how smart they were committing some crime, and oopsie, they wind up in jail.  No, I’m not the sort to be proud of myself.

Are you reliable?
To a fault, and I’ve decided to stop that.  Too many people take me for granted.

Have you ever given money to a bum?
I never have enough money to even spend on myself.  I pick pennies off of floors in public buildings.

What’s your favorite food?
Lately it’s sweet potato fries.  I don’t know how I lived all these years without them.

Have you ever had a secret admirer?
No one ever asks me if I’ve ever nearly been drilled right through the forehead by birds chasing each other doing 60 mph and veering off just in the nick of time.

Do you like the smell of gasoline?
Interesting answer coming up.  During an unusually longer than common stint with Bell’s Palsy (complicated with the ongoing nervous system stuff going on with me), I lost my senses of smell and taste, and when the sense of smell started coming back, phantom smells about drove me crazy.  One of the worst phantom smells was believing I could ONLY smell petroleum products, and it made me feel so sick that I’d crank windows open in the car and house all winter long.  You can imagine how relieved everyone around me was when that wore off.


Do you like to draw?
Draw water?  Draw flies?  Draw blood?  Give me more info here!

What’s your favorite invention?
Interactive holocomputing, but it’s only come up in my dreams so far.  And I’m not talking about the Star Trek kind.

Is your room messy?
My mess is roomy. 

What do you like better: oranges or apples?
I see that the strawberry market might be affected by unusual freezing spells going further south than normal.  All this dang global warming, driving up the price of strawberries…  I’m really confused about all that.

Are you a good guesser?
I freak people out.

Can you read other people’s expressions?
They fear me.  I may not be good at reading what the expression is supposed to express, but I can spot a fake from a mile away.

Are you a bully?
I guess I have succumbed to being an intellectual bully on occasion, but the idiots deserved it. 

Do you have a job?
Survey test dummy.

What time did you wake up this morning?
4:30.  No alarm.  I just do that.

What did you eat for breakfast this morning?
We discovered that Braum’s has hotcakes and sausage the other day.  It saved our lives.

When was the last time you showered?
Ok, ok, I can take a hint.  I’ll go right now, ok?

What do you plan on doing tomorrow?
I’ve gotta find a way to slide down the hill and get some water to my poor chicken.  I have a chicken who refuses to flock with the new batch, so she stays in the old house, and her water freezes.

What’s your favorite day of the week and why?
Tuesday.  What Day of the Week Were You Born On?   I think I must have picked a Tuesday before I was born, because I’ve always just loved Tuesdays.  There’s Fat Tuesday, Super Tuesday, Shrove Tuesday, and if you wanna keep track of all kinds of weird silly celebratory days, go to www.brownielocks.com, there’s some pretty good stuff, there.  For instance, Freethinkers Day is January 29th, from January Holidays 2009 (Official).  Fun At Work Day is on the 30th.  I hope you all celebrate THAT one!!!   

Do you have any nicknames?
I seem to be collecting them over the years.  Oddly, I never had any in childhood.

Have you ever been scuba diving?
I pay to see that on tv.  Actually saves me thousands of dollars, and I get a better view.

What’s your least favorite color?
As much as I like a stunning variety of hues of blue, I’m not fond of navy.

Is there someone you have been constantly thinking about? If yes, who?
Jack Bauer.  He seriously needs to have some owies kissed.

Would you ever go skydiving?
I saw a show in some satellite channel the other day about a guy who was wearing a ‘wind suit’ and jumping off cliffs and gliding down like a big bird.  Was rounding a bend and hit the cliff…  I’ll let the magic of television bring the world of skydiving into my livingroom, thanx.

What’s the worst injury you have had?
Rolled a car, yada yada.

What’s the last movie you saw?
Was in a Terminator mood a few days back, so it was Rise of the Machines.

What do you want to know about the future?
Am I about done cycling through human lives, because I’m getting really tired of this.  I’m ready to move on to the next planet on the roster. 

What does your last text message say?
Incoming or outgoing?  You forgot to specify.

Who was the last person you spoke over the phone to?
I wish I could call up my chickens and have a chat.

Whats you best subject?
Don’t you mean ‘who’?  Yes, I am running experimental tests on lab ‘volunteers’.

What’s your least favorite school subject
I never could figure out if it was history that was so dull, or the teachers.

Would you rather have money or love?
There is an alarming trend around these parts about local lottery winners finding out they have cancer or dying from something within days of winning the lottery and stuff.  If you try to hand me money, I will run screaming.

What is your dream vacation?
I don’t vacate well.  You’d have to excavate me out of my home and go through considerable effort hauling me off. 

What is your favorite animal?
Owning chickens is like owning modern dinosaurs, so they say.

Do you miss anyone right now?
I actually kinda miss Scott this morning.  Too bad he couldn’t have a snow day from work.

What’s the last sporting event you watched?
Barely staying ahead of a very full dvr timer during an Outer Limits marathon is totally a couch potato sport.  What a rush.    

Do you need to do laundry?
I practically rip the clothes off people to fill the machine.  I *need* to do laundry…  It’s a craving I can’t quell.

Do you listen to the radio?
I don’t care how many tomatoes hit the monitors over this one, but I thought Rush’s ‘save the economy’ open presentation to Obama was priceless.  When one of the first things a new president says to Congress is “We’ve got to stop Rush Limbaugh”, you have to ask yourself who has the real power.  Rush says the American people do.  I believe him.

Where were you when 9/11 happened?
Working a jewelry counter in a big retail chain.  I couldn’t believe people were still shopping.  I would have dropped everything to rush home and glue myself to the tv, and I told the customers that.  I mean, geez, we get attacked on our own soil for the first time in how long, it’s living history in an age where we can instantaneously see what’s happening around the world, and people are complacently trying on watches and diamond rings like it’s not real or something.

What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
What do you do when a vending machine gives you too much change, or gives you an extra item?

Have you ever caught a butterfly?
They just land on me, as evidenced in an earlier survey.

What color are your bed sheets?
Next time *I* get to pick the plaid.  This dark maroon and yellow stuff on brown is getting old.  I need a perky blue and purple or something.

What’s your ringtone?
I hover between silent and vibrate.  Ring tones make me want to kill and smash things.

Who was the last person to make you laugh?
Oprah.  Isn’t her self righteousness adorable?  Accidentally caught the last minute of something before another show.  By the way, we have two Big O’s now, Oprah and Obama.  I dub their followers CheeriOs.

Do you have any obsessions right now?
*Aspie checking obsession list…*

Do you like things that glow in the dark?
Fireflies synchronize in the dead of night.  I once woke up and the walls in my room glowed with a faint pulsing strobe, so I got up to look outside thinking I’d see a UFO, but what I saw was the whole forest strobing in pattern about 2 a.m. on a hot summer night.  I watched for a long time, then looked it up, and sure enough, fireflies will synchronize.  What I saw was so rare that most people on this planet will never see anything like that, even on tv.

What’s your favorite fruity scent?
It’s heavenly when people make their own jelly.

Do you watch cartoons?
I have a few fave South Parks.  My ultimate fave is “The Ungroundable“.

Have you ever sat on a roof?I highly disturbed my mother.  I didn’t do it on purpose, I just couldn’t get back out of the tree, so I had to find another way.

Have you ever been to a different country?
I think Mexico should start referring to themselves as North Americans, go more continental, start a trend.  Maybe the Canadians will catch on.  Europe is doing it, why can’t we?

Name three people in the world you dislike?
I have a deep distaste for anyone who has sex with children, for people who torture others and laugh, and for parents who destroy their children’s lives out of selfishness.  I tend to dislike in groups.

Has a rumor even been spread about you?
The funniest rumor was that I was part of a hostile takeover on an actor’s message board because some chick didn’t like that a convention owner called me on the phone to talk about making a free ‘ad’ to put on my fan site.  Okaaayyyy….

Do you like sushi?
I’m terrified of sushi.

Do you believe in magic?
I like the word ‘magical’.  It just feels cool to think something is magical.

Do you hold grudges?
Wo, let’s end on a sour note here.  I like the happy ending surveys better, not the bitter feeling endings.  Yes, I am holding a grudge this morning.  I want my 21 year old stepdaughter to stop calling me to sob that she was up all night puking again and if she misses one more day of work she’ll be fired.  I want her to suck it up, grow up, and start figuring out what she brings on herself and how to problem solve.  I used to think older people were so mean for turning their backs on the younger generations, now I totally understand why it’s necessary.  As long as we have a ‘poor me’ generation rising, we will have old people rolling their eyes.  I’m still trying to figure out why she always calls *me* when she tells everyone I’m the evil stepmother.  I’ve just stopped answering the phone, I’m tired of being on call for weekly crisis intervention.  When I was her age I was married and two months away from giving birth, and we were so poor I washed cloth diapers in the bathtub.  And I never called anyone sobbing about my horrible day because we were too poor to afford a phone.  I think someone needs to get a grip.

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