Translate

Monday, September 8, 2014

‘Deep Stuff’ survey

Originally posted 6-12-09.

Let the summer reruns begin!  I did this one on 11-08-07 and it was never public, until now.

The ‘Deep Stuff’ Survey1. Do you think you were well raised?
I think the best part of the whole thing was watching my mom roll out pie dough.  Pastry just somehow makes the world a better place, you know?  Yes, I obviously sidestepped this one.

2. Do you have a secret that you’ve never told ANYONE?
It involves a cadbury egg.

3. How do you handle stress?
Violent headaches are good for that.  Nothing takes your mind off like a completely disabling headache.

4. How would you spend your last day alive?

How would you spend your 14,600th day alive?  I spent that day over a ‘pot sticker’ in a museum quality Chinese restaurant with my parents and have some really funny memories.  I suppose I’ll spend my last day alive dying.  Duh.  Wonder if I’ll cough up blood or convulse or lie in an agonizing twisted wreckage.  Well, you asked…

5. Do you hide things well or do you have a guilty conscience?
I’m aspie.  Guilt is for the normals.

6. If there was true love on one side of the street and a million bucks on the other, which side would you go to?
Let’s say I’m already on one side of the street.  Like the true love side.  I would take his hand and cross to the money side.  Or, if I were starting out on the other side, I’d pick up the money and cross to the true love side.  You know, this really isn’t a hard question.  Aspies takes rhetorical questions very literally.

7. If your parents got divorced and you had to pick mom or dad to live with?

Oh, gee, sometimes we prayed for them to divorce so Mom would calm down, but it never happened.  I’m sure I wouldn’t have had a choice, knowing my mom.  But if I’d had a choice, I’d have just left everyone.  But that was so long ago, it doesn’t matter now.

8. If you had to choose between having one family member or 5 of your closest friends die who would you chose?
Egads, who is creating this survey?  My closest friends ARE family members.  Let’s reword the question, shall we?  If you had 5 friends and a family member to save from a burning wreckage, would you save family or friends first?  And here I’d answer– the closest and easiest, and then the next one, and the next…  I’d do the logical thing and not weigh it down with who I *like* better.  Or let’s say you’re hanging out with Jack Bauer and HE gives you this choice, eh?  And you KNOW they’re gonna die.  There you go, real toughie there.  And of course, the method of death wasn’t specified.  Slow death in a hospital?  Fast death drowning or burning or being shot?  It seems like a very passive question to me, who would I ~choose~ to have die.  What do you mean, like if a guy with a gun told me to choose and then I’d have to watch him shoot them?  See, questions like these are almost useless.  I wonder if ~*~anyone~*~ filling out this survey chose to be the one to die to save the others…?  Hmmm…

9. Do you think you could ever forgive someone who murdered a family member?

My best friend was murdered in college.  If I were to go into the details of her murder, everyone reading this survey would want to lynch the murderers, no second thoughts.  I assume we’re talking premeditated, and not just some random shooting incident.  And it would depend on who the family member is– kid, parent, sibling, spouse?  Because it would be much easier to forgive a drunk driver who took out an adult than a pedophile who slayed a child and hid the body, you know?

10. What is the worst thing you’ve ever done that your parents DONT know about?
There are ~so~ many things they don’t know about, this is pretty laughable.  At least I didn’t kill anyone.  I don’t think.  I’m pretty sure no one was killed.

- The love stuff
1. Do you think you know the meaning of true love?

Yes, of course.  True love is being someone’s hero, no matter what you have to endure, without thought of reward or comfort back for yourself, because you love that person so much that you don’t hold them responsible for your own pain, anguish, and suffering in loving them.  If you don’t learn that having a baby, then you are pretty thick.  And if you don’t get that kind of love as a child, you look for it everywhere else, which puts a real burden on an intimate partner or friend just being human.  True love isn’t about the finding of it, it’s about the giving of it.

2. The last time you kissed someone… was it someone you see yourself kissing again?
I need a t-shirt that says “Scott can’t peel me off.”

3. When AND/OR WHO was your last kiss?

And THEN he tells me tonight he feels like he might be getting sick, and went to bed two hours early.  So I probably got his cooties.

4. Whats the most important part of a relationship in your opinion?

Well, it can’t be sex, because I’m like a praying mantis lately– Scott is terrified I’ll chomp his head while he’s copulating.  I think it’s food.  The most important thing, I mean, not Scott’s head.  When someone walks in the door crabby, you feed them something good, and then everything gets better.  I’ve never seen this fail.

5. Are you one to kiss and tell?

I just noticed that number 6 below here is missing…  I’m wildly curious what in the world that one could have been, even though the rest of these seem pretty mundane compared to all the death stuff a few minutes ago.  Ok, back to the question.  Kiss and tell, um… yes, I am.  I can’t help it.  I always tell Scott when I need money for something.  Vague questions deserve vague answers.


7. Your most recent ex… you guys still friends?
It’s actually a heart wrenchingly sad story that neither one of us will ever heal from, with the sort of evil tinge that colors your soul forever.  “Friends” in this context would have to be so ludicrously twisted that you wouldn’t recognize the word.  The word “betrayal” doesn’t even begin to explain the agonizing plunge into perdition.  My naivete and trust were certainly my undoing.  Love is love is love, right?


8. If your parents didn’t like the person you were dating.. would you lose em?
Scott passed the test with flying colors.  No one else did, but I went out with them anyway and ruined my life.

9. Do you see yourself ever being with someone you’ve been with before?
Let me quote that part again– “and ruined my life”.  Sorta self explanatory there.

10. If your best friend liked your ex, what would you do?
Laugh.  The fools!  I’d sit back in my lawn chair in my sunglasses and a drink and enjoy the show.  Actually, my best friend is Scott, so that means he’d have to be gay, and I’m sure they’d each take an instant dislike to the other.  And there might be a chainsaw accident, because Scott knows about the sad story.

Well, this survey ended rather abruptly.  Guess the creator ran out of ‘deep stuff’.  I think it would have been pertinent to ask whether any animals were harmed during all this deep stuff.