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Saturday, September 13, 2014

Totally Mindless Survey

Originally posted on 4-16-08.

What do you think the most common letter in the English Language?
You completely left me hanging with the word ‘is’ missing.  Is that a clue or something?

Have you ever worn shoes without socks?
When you put big sox over your shoes it’s easier to walk on the snow.

When was the last time you popped a mint?
I had no idea they popped.  I shall have to try this.

Do you pop your gum?
Gum pops, too?  I’m a little worried now about gum popping when I least expect it.

Do you know how to play any instruments?
Apparently I can pop various candies and gums.  Perhaps I can do this rhythmically.

Do you own an orange shirt?

Alas, I gave my orange shirt away to someone in the UK.

Who do you want to be nominated as President of U.S. 
Casanova Frankenstein

Do you use chapstick?
Did you know you can be allergic to chapstick?  Dentists have many answers to weird questions, like why do my lips peel off until I don’t have any.

How many water bottles do you consume a week?
Consuming bottle….  *burp!*  ~picking teeth~  Yeah, those bottles are mighty tasty.

Where do you want to work while in College, if at all?

Depending on the college, I think I’d rather teach something weird, like Mythology of SciFi.

Are you currently in debt?
I have $12, more than enough for 10 pounds of chick feed.

Do you paint your toe nails?

Freak me out, do NOT paint them glow in the dark.

Off the top of your head, what do you think superfluous means?

Intensely overwhelmed with influenza.  They make superfluous shots nowadays.

When writing essays, do you write in a notebook and then type it, or type it right out of your head?
My fingers race across the keyboard to keep up with the dictation.  We tried going back to writing once, and my head fired my hands.  My head demands excellence and speed, and starts throwing things if it has to slow down and wait for a pen to loop around and dot and stuff.

Up to what grade level of math would you say you’ve completed?
My calculus professor pretty much called me a genius and a loser in one breath, in very bad English.  He was born in China, educated in Canada in French, and it was clear I was stubbornly backward engineering the whole thing.

Do you like bread ends?
You wanna see a massacre, just toss a ‘bread end’ out to my chickens.  I got bread mutilation by a gang of chicks and a duck lord on video the other day.

How many pieces of ham on a sandwich?
See, this is what I’m talking about.  This is why I was practically kicked out of calculus.

What kind of cheese do you like?

I make a cheese ball to die for.  I actually have someone go to Wisconsin and pick cheese up for me personally.  Seriously.

Plain chocolate or stuffed with caramel or cherry?
Chocolatiers the world over are cringing that you think chocolate is ‘stuffed’.  Does that sound hilarious?


What is your purpose in life?
To tell you that you can actually buy stuffed chocolate from 
European Belgian Gourmet Chocolate.  If you wanna read something truly hilarious, Russel-Stover Cancels Line of Chocolate Gods Treats

How many area codes do you use, are you familiar with?
It’s freaking me out that area codes don’t have a lot of meaning any more with the advent of cell phones.

Do any of your siblings look like your twin?
I have a *twin*?????  Wow…  Wouldn’t that make the sibling who looks like my twin my triplet?

Would you ever wear an afro wig?
I was looking through a wig catalog one year and decided I’d rather be bald than have to keep something on my head.  A scalp tattoo would be cool.

Have you ever donated your hair?
I would especially feel weird wearing a wig of hair that had come out of someone else’s head.  They can have my arm hair, though.

Do you put lotion on your tummy?

Neutrogena® Relaxing Overnight Body Cream.  Satisfied?

What kind of lotion is your favorite?

Dang, I just used that answer.

What’s your top best radio station for news?
Top best…  Not the middle best.  Um.  A radio station?  I have yet to run into a radio station that gives actual good news.  Most of it is just quick bad repeats.

What was the last thing you heard on the news?
Something about this year’s peach crop being in jeopardy from the cold snap.

How often do you pick up the newspaper to read?
I use it to line my chicky box.  They especially like the ads.

How many stripes does the flag have?
There are many flags in this world.  Please specify.

Who made the original 13 starred flag of the U.S?
I was watching The Two Towers the other day and was thinking exactly that about the Rohan flag.  It looked really awesome in battle, and I thought how cool it was that some woman at home could point to that flag and say she inspired the troops out on the bloody battlefield with her design.

Have you ever heard a song by Pink Floyd?
I’m not exactly just another brick in a wall.  It used to be all the rage to get high and watch The Wall, right?  Well, I tried it once, and that had to be the stupidest experience I ever wasted my time on.  I get better imagery in my head when I’m sober.

How many blogs do you have?
They weren’t all me, I swear.

Have you ever used a sound as part of your password for anything?
The person before me actually listed passwords to particular things.  Interesting.  Wonder how many other people fall for this one.

What’s your dream car?
I’ve had a few dream cars.  I don’t care any more.  When you get to the point where you’re just happy the radio works, you’ve almost reached nirvana.

Ninja’s, Pirates, Thieves, or Politicians?

On a chess board, anything is possible.

Have you ever wanted to have a hook for a hand?

This is a late night free association survey created by someone who is desperately needing alcohol.

Do you think you’ll ever have a six pack?
What did I tell you?  The free associating is off the wall.  This person is a party animal stuck in computer land without even a big marshmallow to microwave a s’more out of.

Have you ever counted the number of stairs you’ve climbed, if so what was the number?
I’ll go you one better.  How many slats are in the blinds on your window?  If you have to go count, you seriously need to go prowl around youtube or something.

Have you ever worn cowboy boots?
I had a pair one year.  I have no idea what came over me.

Who’s Ralph Nader, and what did he do?
He’s Darth Vadar’s cousin.  Actually, I grew up with the guy.  I think he enjoyed negative attention, and the media ate it up because they were so bored.

Have you given up trying to find Waldo?
When you’re looking for Waldo and the hairs go up on the back of your neck as your eyes lock, you realize he’s more than a little guy on a page full of people…  He’s watching *you* the whole time you’re looking for him.  Best to shut the book and walk away.

Ever played jacks?

I liked going to Jack’s house.  Except he insisted we call him Guy for some reason.

Do you think red lipstick is hot?

Why red?  No one really has red lips.  I like pinks, darks, and funky blue.

What does “drop it like it’s hot” mean?

Drop It Like It’s Hot – Wikipedia  Not having heard the song or the phrase used anywhere, I’m going to guess it means act like you’re cool.

Have you ever named a part of your body?
You mean like, have I ever named the nerve trunk down my spine Baxter?

What’s the longest word you can remember right now?

Wait.  Takes forever.

Have you ever said “fine and dandy”?
I wish you’d go out and find a snack already, because this survey is really sucking.

What smiley face do you most often use?
>=)

Thank goodness that’s over.