This is a nasty headache day, so I’m torturing myself with another survey while I wait for some relief. Feel free to torture yourself and read it.
1. When was the last time you showered?
I really have to protest this ongoing public need to know about my hygiene. I’m concerned that it shows up in so many surveys, actually. Is this a problem survey makers have? Perhaps they wrestle with the horrors of bathing in ways I cannot comprehend. Dang, maybe aspies are making all these surveys!!!
2. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
It’s jolting to wake up from a dream in which you were saying it to someone you loathe in real life. Wow. I’m sure Freud would have a lecture topic right there. No, I’m not going to tell you who. Yes, it was someone you know. I can’t stand this person on tv. Maybe if the dream had continued it might have turned into a plot on my part to sucker the guy into complacency so I could kill him.
3. When was the last time you had your favorite meal?
I make an exceptionally delicious cafe latte with Ozark Mountain Blend and evaporated milk. I use it to chase vicodin for migraines, works pretty well. I otherwise can’t drink coffee because it sets my nervous system off so badly that ER doctors have told me to stop it, so I savor the words instead. “Indonesian and African coffees are combined to provide a sweet chocolate aroma balanced with nut, fruit, and floral notes.”
4. When was the last time you went to church?
“You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.” No offense to church goers, but I can’t deal with ‘pretenders’. I live in a cave and eat locusts.
5. When was the last time you read a book?
*weeping over the loss of Michio Kaku…* The library got me. *snif* I’m back in line again to make love to, um, I mean, finish his latest book, Physics of the Impossible.
6. When was the last time you took a much needed vacation?
The vicodin is starting to kick in a little.
7. When was the last time you told yourself you needed to change?
I think the 3-week, bad water/boil order we just went through convinced me it’s time to start storing bottled water in the basement. I suggest we all start storing water in case the crazies screw things up when 2012 arrives and the end of the world looms near.
8. When was the last time you decided you needed new clothes (even though you didn’t)?
*trying to peer through the monitor at the survey maker* Have I hit a jackpot or something? Could it be I’ve gotten two surveys in a row created by middle aged adults? This pattern of questioning clearly doesn’t fit the standard ~I’m a teenager stuck in my room smoking pot~ survey, or ~I’m a lonely single drinking my blues away~ survey. These questions are entirely too thoughtful. “even though you didn’t”???? There you go, but I’m still betting this is a malcontent female, probably headed for divorce somewhere down the road. Once you get past a certain age, you realize you haven’t bought clothes in 5 years or more, and you don’t care because you need the money for prescriptions.
9. When was the last time you spent time with the family?
And this survey maker is spreading motherly guilt to all those on the internet who are ignoring their families to play with their blogs, while she herself escapes an empty shell of an aging marriage.
10. When was the last time you ate your all time favorite candy?
And she desperately longs for the freedom of youth and lack of inhibitions that once inspired a surge of joy in her life. I don’t have a fave candy, btw, I’m not a candy person.
11. When was the last time you watched a really good movie?
“The Andromeda Strain” (2008) (mini) A&E, just this week. Awesome remake, if you’re into scifi.
12. When was the last time you made friends with old enemies?
They don’t want to be friends with me. That would mean public apologies and so forth, and that just doesn’t look good for an arch nemesis. I respect that.
13. When was the last time you bought something for someone out of the blue?
I picked up some new footies at Walgreens. ‘Tis the season. Must celebrate grilling and stuff.
14. When was the last time you helped someone in need?
Raise a stepchild of a druggie/alcoholic sometime. I’d say, oh, nearly 18 years of my life now. By the way, Fetal Alcohol Effect is extremely common and not taken seriously enough by the media to educate the public. If you drink while you are pregnant, you’re an idiot.
15. When was the last time you took time to pray?
Me and God go way back. He prods me to be blunt and honest. Most people don’t like that. I haven’t been stoned with a real rock yet.
16. When was the last time you told someone something personal?
You can’t STOP me from flinging it all out there. Sorry about the mess. Should wipe right off.
17. When was the last time you took the time to do something important?
This is the most important thing I’m doing today, aside from feeding my chickens. And my duck. In the event you scoff, I’m sure my footnote beneath this survey will clear things up a bit.
18. When was the last time you spend alot of money you didn’t have to spend?
I’m amazed that people are still doing that. I heard something about the American people having reached their limit on these gas prices recently, and I thought, Nah, you haven’t reached your LIMIT until you actually stop jumping into the car to go do something that isn’t absolutely necessary to your health and well being. When I see empty highways on Memorial Day weekend, I’ll know we’ve reached our limit. Until then, you all are just a bunch of whiners blowing your money on tans and swimsuits and oh what the heck, actually traveling somewhere just for the pleasure of it. Some of us still remember what it was like to grow up without all this stuff.
19. When was the last time you asked someone to forgive you or said you were sorry?
I’ve won customer service excellence awards for being so good at apologizing to the public. Someone needs to put a gold star on my forehead.
20. When was the last time you took a good nap?
This survey maker needs a nap. I took a nap this morning. I woke up at 1:30 a.m. and couldn’t get back to sleep, part of my severe insomnia. Finally got up at 3 and played on the computer and took some benadryl, hoping for some magic sleepiness. Went back to bed around 5 and took a nap until about 8:30. Woke up with a migraine. There you go. But was that a *good* nap if I woke up with a migraine? It’s so hard to tell.
21. When was the last time you exercised?
I once saw this misspelled as ‘exorcised’, crack me up. Feeding my flock is exercise.
22. When was the last time you felt in love?
As an aspie, I am never NOT in love with something, someone, concepts, events, motions… We live to obsess about details, sometimes to the exclusion of our social lives. For instance, I really have this thing for good editing in youtube fanvids. Here are a couple I found just this morning. I’ve never seen this show, but the vids are so good that I’m actually interested. :edit: Sorry, the second vid is gone now.
23. When was the last time you felt loved?
Egads, my own friends lurk all over my blogs and don’t even tell me until they accidentally get ‘stop stalking’ letters. You can’t feel more loved than that.
24. When was the last time you held somebody so tight you didn’t want to let go?
Um, you don’t want to hold a duck too tight, but you don’t want to let go and wind up chasing it around the yard, either. Be prepared for claw marks on your arms if you attempt to hold a Duck Lord.
25. When was the last time you really thought about your future?
The older you get, the more you wonder just how gracefully you will age. I’ve really got to hand it to the generation before me, I had no idea my great aunts covered up their bad days with nice clothes and makeup and hairdos. I’m afraid I’ll look pretty scary by the time I arrive.
**Footnote on the vicodin I bring up, for those who are wondering. Vicodin is a seriously addictive narcotic. I’ve known people who pop three or four at once every 6 hours, round the clock. When I joke about vicodin in my surveys, I am aware that I’m joking about a narcotic that other people have problems with. For those of you who are new to ‘me’, I have ongoing chronic illness and med allergies out the eyeballs, and the only thing left I can take is vicodin. I take 1/2 a pill, usually once or twice a day. A 60-pill prescription lasts me a loooong time. Why? Because my liver cannot successfully filter meds any more, and I get ‘wasted’ much easier on a little because of that. To take more could conceivably become toxic. So while some people like Paris Hilton get vicodin for cramps, and others have to be cleared for “pain contracts” with medical specialists for long term use, I am somewhere in the middle, sniffing just enough vicodin to be functional around my home. I hope those of you out there who pop pain killers left and right without a thought (especially with alcohol) take the time to do a little research on how that affects your liver, and ask yourself why this information isn’t more ‘out there’. Through an infection in my liver over the winter, I learned that liver illnesses are so common that patients are treated regularly for them. And in case you ask, I’m totally allergic to ibuprofen, too. Yeah, sux. From side effects of acetaminophen on the liver- “Doses of acetaminophen greater than the recommended doses are toxic to the liver and may result in severe liver damage. The potential for acetaminophen to harm the liver is increased when it is combined with alcohol or drugs that also harm the liver. The most serious side effect is liver damage due to large doses, chronic use or concomitant use with alcohol or other drugs that also damage the liver. Chronic alcohol use may also increase the risk of stomach bleeding.” So use your heads and don’t be stupid. How To Avoid Death By Medication Remember Heath Ledger…
