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Friday, September 19, 2014

100 fun questions survey

Originally posted 7-4-12. Due to a server migration, several videos may have disappeared from the time of original posting, but I think I found some of them and put them back in.

Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Wow, there really are a hundred questions here, I just counted them. Open closets at night are creepy. Have you ever woken up to a chair right next to your bed? I was about 8 when that one happened, middle of the night there’s a chair right up against the bed, and I never found out why. I was known for sleep walking, so I think the things I might do in my sleep creep me out more than anything because I have no recollection of doing them.

Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? I use to mix those and all kinds of other little things in the big Halloween candy bowl for kids to grab. We had the coolest house on the street.

Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? You assume I’m in a bed with sheets. I’m on a couch with an afghan because I’m always getting up.

Have you ever stolen a street sign before? I didn’t stop at one. And getting a guard rail through town and into my friend’s house was a trick, but we pulled it off. Seriously, how do you not catch a person driving through town with a guard rail sticking out of the back of a pickup?

Do you like to use post-it notes? I find myself using at least 3 because I always run out of room. I can’t *not* keep writing stuff that pops into my head. I need giant post-its, like 8.5 X 11 or something…

Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? Not any more. I refined it into actually having them in my hand at checkout and never handing them over and walking out after paying with them still in my hand, so I vowed to just never clip coupons again. I mean, how ridiculous was that?

Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? My luck I’d probably be tangled up in a zipline or crashed a hang glider through a bunch of trees, and I’d be stuck there for the bear and bees to toy cruelly with.

Do you have freckles? Somewhat. I stood behind a woman in a Walgreens line one summer, and I could not help looking her over really really good. She had the most perfect continual freckle pattern all over her skin that I could see, and I tried to nonchalantly step around a little so I could see her chest above her little top to see if it matched her back, and it did! People breed pets for color patterns, and I have to wonder how terribly rare it is to find a human with a perfect color pattern like she had. I mean, her freckles were that stunning, there wasn’t one patch that I could see that lacked this pattern running all over her arms and back and legs and chest and neck and stuff. If she’d been a pet, she’d have been priceless for that alone and used for breeding stock just because it’s so rare to see something like that.

Do you always smile for pictures? People complain because I always have my mouth open.

What is your biggest pet peeve? Trying to find diphenhydramine chewable tablets between two metro areas over the last month. NO ONE has any. One clerk told me the last person she assisted with those bought some for her dog on the advice of a vet. Seriously??? This has been like hunting for the golden ticket to the chocolate factory, and you can’t buy them online and no one can order them in for people wanting them.

Do you ever count your steps when you walk? I can’t count crochet stitches straight to save my life. I always seem to skip over certain numbers, or an entire set of ten somewhere.

Have you ever peed in the woods? When I was a kid I got the worst poison ivy you ever saw from peeing in the woods.

What about pooped in the woods? You know those video clips they show of people pooping in grocery stores? How do they do it??? I could never drop a bomb like that in public. I worked a retail fitting room for nearly 5 years and thankfully never got that, although I heard horror stories from other departments. I think The Fear hung over my department because I was the Bra Nazi, and if you were the person who left a half empty can of Dr. Pepper on the boxed bras and it tipped over and you cowered behind a Bali display while I maniacally and very crabbily shredded Playtex boxes out into a pile on the floor to save them from negligently being destroyed, I hope you realize now THAT is why bras are so expensive, because nidiots like you go around spilling pop all over them. Kinda like health care being so expensive because people won’t buy insurance and then won’t pay their bills. Ok, all this from a question about pooping in the woods… I’m free associating a little more spontaneously than usual this morning.

Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing? People look at me funny when I do that, so I try not to. I have accidentally danced right into strangers without any music, gets a little awkward. Especially for Scott, who hangs back and pretends not to know me.

Do you chew your pens and pencils? I am kind to them. They are my friends.

How many people have you slept with this week? Scott is starting to feel a little frantic. I won’t let him touch me since the pregnancy scare. For the clueless, I’m allergic to condoms and chemicals, and I was pulled off birth control. All the guys he works with have had vasectomies. They don’t see what the problem is. He turns white and nearly faints just thinking about it. I think it’s funny. Especially since I raised his child. Way funny. 

What size is your bed? Super big.

What is your Song of the week? Did you guys know that the ocarina songs from Legend of Zelda have been immortalized in the Zelda Symphony? Now touring across the U.S., click that link for tickets. I ~love~ the ocarina pieces on the game, can’t wait to get hold of something digital!!!!! See more info at The Legend of Zelda: Symphony of the Goddesses | The Mann Center- (I don’t get paid to advertise, I’m just excited )

The Legend of Zelda™: Symphony of the Goddesses is the first ever video game themed concert to feature a complete 4 movement symphony, showcasing the work of Nintendo composer and sound director Koji Kondo.

Witness 25 years of video game history unfolding complete with a gorgeous and cinematic video presentation, synced to picture with the game’s sensational, thematic and action-packed music played live by a full symphony orchestra.

The Legend of Zelda™ is among the most famous media franchises of all time. Over 62 million copies of the game have been sold since its introduction in 1986, grossing more than Avatar and Titanic combined.

Beyond the fifteen Zelda video games, Zelda’s popularity has spawned a book series, comic book, Saturday morning cartoon, and even its own breakfast cereal. The most recent game, Skyward Sword, set a new record for the franchise, selling over 550,000 copies in a week and becoming Zelda’s fastest-selling title. Nintendo’s fan club and mailing list continue to add over a million new members every year throughout the world.”





Is it okay for guys to wear pink? I think it’s being way overdone in sportscasting. If they’re wearing pink for the joy of wearing pink, it’s all right, but to be continually having to wear pink as an awareness color in all-male sports feels burdensome. I’d love to see sportscasters reporting on all-female sports wearing a designated color for testicular cancer or something to balance it out. Putting it that way kind of brings out how ridiculous it is, doesn’t it? But it’s politically incorrect to say how we really feel, so yeah, I’m ok with men wearing pink. Because they want to.

Do you still watch cartoons? Scott is more like Fry than another other cartoon out there.



Whats your least favorite movie? Blank. I’m sure I could make a list, but that seems a little too counterproductive while I’m diverging away from what I originally intended to be doing.

Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? Riiiiight… That was a little too obvious. Wonder how many people were stupid enough to actually write that down.

What do you drink with dinner? Water. Goes with everything.

What do you dip a chicken nugget in? I haven’t had one of those in years. Lately my BBQ sauce of choice is Curley’s.

What is your favorite food? I used to answer these, but it seems lately that I’m becoming allergic to all my fave foods, so I don’t want to jinx myself by writing something down. Getting anxious about eating too much of anything now, too, so I started a rotation diet, desperate to keep new food allergies from popping up. And we’re not talking hives, we’re talking going anaphylactic without warning several times this last year, so yeah, I have a little anxiety about jinxing myself.

What movies could you watch over and over and still love? I always have to come back to Monsters, Inc on this one.



Last person you kissed/kissed you? Chickens can’t hug or kiss each other, but I’ve noticed my hens gather around and give little nips of consolation on the neck feathers of a frantic hen in distress from illness or fear. At first I thought they were being mean, but after I watched awhile it was easy to see she really did feel better that everyone was around her paying attention, and when she calmed down they stopped and dispersed. A couple stayed around her for awhile to make sure she was ok.

Were you ever a boy/girl scout? No one ever asks if I was in 4-H. I was president of a 4-H club for two years, entered stuff in the fair and won ribbons, it was pretty cool.

Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? They never show a chicken in full molt in a chicken magazine, have you noticed that?

When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? All the time. I’m a snail mail enthusiast. I still use colored pens and cool spirals and stickers. Scott brought home Harry Potter stamps last time he went to Universal, I’m still using them. The coolest paper I ever used was by Lisa Frank and was blue on one side and pink on the other.

Can you change the oil on a car? I can. I delegate anyway.

Ever gotten a speeding ticket? They really watch you in Iowa.

Ran out of gas? Too paranoid to actually get that low. Now ask me if an emu has ever fallen out of someone’s trailer in front of my car.

Favorite kind of sandwich? Not particularly into sandwiches. Just not a bread person.  Unless I’m starving.

Best thing to eat for breakfast? I’m all over anything protein first thing. Carbs totally screw up my day if I do them first thing. Most awesome breakfast ever is omelet with lotsa veggies.

What is your usual bedtime? I jump into different time zones every so many days, at least in my biorhythms, I can’t count on a ‘usual’. Been like this for years.

Are you lazy? My philosophy is this- you never really *have* to do anything. Thinking you *have* to do something stresses a person out more than anything. It’s easier to *choose* to do it, or choose not to. Choosing not to do something doesn’t mean you are lazy, it means you chose not to do it. You can always choose to do it later. I’m more concerned with people’s lazy ways of thinking, like allowing other people and organizations to make up their minds for them, or tell them who they are and what to think or believe. Emotionally lazy people are even worse. A messy house or desk has nothing on a person who has a messy social life and screws up their relationships over and over because they are too lazy to take responsibility for the problems they cause and/or take the time and make the effort to care about someone else’s challenges and needs and/or allow other people to walk on and use them over and over. That, too, is a choice in this life, far more important than whether you pick up your laundry or get your dishes done. Obsessive compulsive cleaning, to me, isn’t much different than anorexia. It’s a symptom of something else being way outa wack.

When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? As an adult, I dress up as a transgendered person and laugh when people get bug eyed waiting for their candy. Bearded ladies will never go out of style.

What is your Chinese astrological sign? I’m not just an ox, I’m a super ox. Kinda like being super scorpio. I don’t just fit the mold, I was the mold. I’ve been told that makes me evil.

How many languages can you speak? I get a kick out of people on facebook listing that they know 5 different languages. Whatever. Most of them don’t know how to spell conjunctions properly, much less speak 4 other languages. The real question is- can you *read* other languages? Slam through a linguistics class and see if you can decipher a couple lines of Navajo for an exam without any prior exposure to it. The best I can do in other languages is smatter a bunch of random words together. You’ll get a coherent sentence, but I hope you can understand Spanish, French, German, Japanese, Cajun, and southern hillbilly with Valley talk in it. My brain refuses to differentiate languages and dialects. I do my best to stay away from Klingon and PortuGreek. I can speak uno languageo.

Do you have any magazine subscriptions? The Progressive Farmer isn’t at all what I thought it would be. World Poultry Magazine should be required reading for everyone trying to follow world politics. Cooking Light has been threatening for months that it’s my last issue, and still they keep sending them.

Which are better legos or lincoln logs? It’s the best when you throw everything together, those and tinker toys and blocks and a couple of farm sets and a zoo set and tonka trucks, and then you set up with some big rocks and good dirt so you can make roads, and bring a magnifying glass in case you get distracted by an ant or caterpillar. Don’t let the chickens into it, they’ll tear it up. The biggest drag is having to pick it all back up, because if you don’t, the dog carries some of it away, or the cat poops in your dirt. Prolly why video gaming is so popular, you don’t have to pick up your toys…

Are you stubborn? I’ve been working on this survey for a solid week.

Who is better…Leno or Letterman? I prefer NerdistChris Hardwick is da bomb.

http://rosslaye.deviantart.com/art/Chris-Hardwick-Demotivator-164489921

Ever watch soap operas? My fave was Burt thinking he was invisible and Bob the puppet getting drunk. There is a serious lack of this stuff on youtube. Raise your hand if you own Soap dvd’s, like me. :edit: Holy cow, someone loaded the bar scene. Here you go.



Afraid of heights? I think I may have been sacrificed off a cliff in a past life. Going up the Gatewary Arch in St. Louis was quite the challenge, also given that I’m extremely claustrophobic. But I did it, yay! As an aside, I cannot think of the Arch without thinking of the Krelvin Building, the tallest building in the world with no elevators.

Sing in the car? I used to sing every Weird Al song ~ever~ in the car. For years. That changed when I changed cars, sans tape deck. I miss super long cassette tapes that can hold nearly 3 albums. NO, I have never gone MP3 *hands over ears* lalalalalalala

Dance in the shower? Ricocheted right out of the shower… It hurt.

Dance in the car? I was doing the whole Butabi thing years before Chris Kattan was. Love the scene where he totally breaks the window out with his head. Would you believe this song didn’t make it into the soundtrack?





Seriously?!? My right headphone went out and I dug out my backup…



Can’t help wondering if I’m the only person in the world who actually washes the foam covers in a lingerie net bag. Yes, 3 sets there, plus the one that just croaked, and that’s not counting the ones I’ve thrown away. Took nearly 10 minutes to untangle these. I can’t believe tossing them around from sack to sack (I keep all my hardware in old gift bags, easy to grab the handles and haul them around) twice a year while I look for stuff winds up in such quantum entanglement.

This is an ~action survey~… You don’t generally get cool on the spot reporting like this in regular surveys.

Ever used a gun? This question is so loaded, yuk yuk. Um, I have a gun, I’ve handled guns, I’ve never shot anyone with a real gun, although I do shoot at roaming dogs and cats with the pellet gun. Don’t worry, they laugh while I pump it up. It’s a sport, trying to get a pellet ready while someone’s stupid Fido flings itself off my chicken pens like a vertical trampoline. Easier to stomp around grabbing them by the scruff and scaring the bejeezus out of them, aaaah, insane human, ahhhh… and then leaving a note for the owner that I’ve got the whole attack on youtube, and if they don’t want a bunch of chicken lover stray dog hater commenters knowing where he lives, he’ll keep his dogs put up.

Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? I couldn’t tell you. I’m sure the glasses date this more than anything.



Do you think musicals are cheesy? The coolest most awesome dream I ever had was done in opera, and some of the my other coolest dreams included soundtracks. My mom exposed me to musicals at a very young age, which I think did something to my brain, because even though I generally don’t gravitate to musicals in real life, I seem to always have some kind of background theme running behind everything I do.

Is Christmas stressful? Not anymore since I stopped doing it. I was always the Christmas kid, the year round Christmas fan, even worked in a Christmas shop at the Grand Village next to Andy Williams’ Moon River Theatre. It all changed the year I nearly lost one of my kids to a surgical mishap over Christmas. There is nothing in the world worth stressing out about after something like that.

Ever eat a pierogi? Nope. Looks pretty carby.

Favorite type of fruit pie? I don’t eat pie, but I make really good ones.  

Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? I think I sort of thought being a vet would be ok, since I grew up on a farm, but my parents were so dedicated to squelching every idea I ever had that by the time I hit high school I never gave my future a second thought. The here and now occupied my mind to the point of heavy philosophical wrestling matches.

Do you believe in ghosts? They fear me.

Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? They say that’s a brain lag from one half to the other, but that doesn’t hold up when that lag shows up a couple years later or something. I’ve deja-vu’d several times over something that hasn’t even happened yet, no one can explain that to me at all. Those kind eventually show up for real and then I’m all like, Hey, I deja-vu’d about this a few times, remember when I told you yada yada? and people are all like ~Wo~, you are like a prophet or something, and I’m all like I know!  

Take a vitamin daily? See last survey…

Wear slippers? Footies, dude, all the time. I have a whole board on pinterest devoted to sox.



Wear a bath robe? An older more experienced survey maker might ask me if I’ve ever driven the kids to school in my pajamas, and yes, yes I have. A really super experienced survey maker would probably ask me if I’ve ever had to walk to a public restroom in a hospital gown, and yes, yes I have. A fun loving survey maker would ask if I’ve ever escaped wearing only a hospital gown, and I can at least say I’ve seen that happen, some old geeber ran out of Thunderbird Samaritan in Phoenix one night while I was on shift, took security forever to catch him in the parking lot, just a dinky little hospital gown.

What do you wear to bed? I’m fully clothed from the neck down so I don’t get surprises in the dark. Like little legs tickling me on their way to other places. Every time I answer questions like this it sounds like I live in a bug infested home, but I’m just that paranoid. I wake up to a spider on me maybe 3 times a year. The spiders are proof that we’re not bug infested, because they come after me.

First concert? How embarrassing is it to go to the bathroom at a KC and the Sunshine Band concert and little girls are in there sobbing in unfulfilled anguish? Do boys ever sob like that? I would feel so sorry for a boy if I ever saw one sobbing like that. I look back on youth and all that suffering and wonder what the heck I’m supposed to tell myself in my middle age now that I can truly appreciate it. You know why women my age are getting divorces and going to bars? Because they sobbed in public bathrooms over inaccessible has-beens twice their age instead of noticing the angsty anguished boys their age when they had the chance. I think the reason I’m not getting a divorce now is because I had no clue what all that was about back then, and now that I have a clue, I go all pon farr on Scott. Waste not, want not.

Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Wow, someone is into proper proper noun spelling. So many of these surveys is me correcting stuff as I go, haven’t touched this one so far. It’s not perfect, but so minor that I don’t feel ruffled. I don’t have a personal preference here.

Nike or Adidas? asics, see last survey for awesome pic.

Cheetos Or Fritos? I avoid these. I kinda miss them sometimes, but not enough to go after them.

Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Allergic, and no.

Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? Did you know that TresBien Group Consultancy, Inc. is a provider of high quality IT services in the areas of Enterprise Resource Planning (ERP), Marketing Technology solutions, e-Business and related technologies? I didn’t either until I put that into the search engine. And did you also know that the Quartette TrĂ©s Bien was an American jazz combo based in St. Louis led by pianist Jeter Thompson in the 1960′s. I assume this survey maker is talking about Tres Bien, a foursome from Clearwater, Florida who bop their heads Beatles-style while churning out 60s-inspired power-pop, but since I didn’t go past the first page of search returns, it might actually be something else.

Ever take dance lessons? Total free associating here, you know that routine Columbia does in RHPS during the Timewarp? The first time I saw the movie I was all like I cannot *believe* PeeWee Herman is in that!!! And you see him again dancing on the balcony, and you even get that famous pout. I have searched high and low, he has never been credited in RHPS. If that’s not him, it’s sure a dead ringer.

Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? He keeps saying he’ll wind up working at Walmart after he retires, but I’m not sure I can picture him making it that long. He’s too carefree climbing all over the roof and 4 story scaffolding. I keep telling him what is going to wind up on his headstone.

Can you curl your tongue? I’m curling it around an egg sandwich right now.

Ever won a spelling bee? I think it’s more likely that more people than not throw spelling bees so they can sit back down and doodle while everyone ignores them. I know I’ve done it when I could easily have won.

Have you ever cried because you were so happy? I’m trying to wrap my head around a definition for happy. I’ve probably wept a little with relief. Happy seems so transitory to me. I’m not sure that I could handle happiness to the point of weeping. I’m sure Mr. Spock would see that as hysteria.

Own any record albums? Stacks. Stuff you can’t get any more in any form of media.

Own a record player? They make those now where you can digitally record and convert to MP3. I’d like to get one of those.

Regularly burn incense? I tried that once.

Ever been in love? It never stops. Can’t help wondering how the incense question ties into the love question for the progression in the survey maker’s head.

Who would you like to see in concert? See, I can’t help thinking this suddenly took on a hippie vibe or something.

What was the last concert you saw? I saw Lady Gaga and Pink in concert, thanx to satellite tv. I don’t do crowds. Television is the sliced bread of our millenia.

Hot tea or cold tea? I grew up on lots of both and spent my adult life trying all kinds of teas, but lately I’m just not that into tea. I was reading where fermented (dried) teas can raise the histamine levels in the body, and I’ve been so replete with allergic reactions this last year, seems logical to slack off on that.

Tea or coffee? I’m super picky with both.

Sugar or snickerdoodles? *gag* Sorry, not into pure carbs like that. Once you stop eating them for awhile, they kinda make you feel sick when you try to go back. It’s a lot like quitting smoking, once you stop, it kinda makes you feel sick to start back up. This coming from a person who had to have at least one cookie a day for years.

Can you swim well? Not really, but I haven’t drowned yet, so I guess well enough not to drown so far.

Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? And dive, and somersault, and get pulled under by little kids. I might hold someone else’s nose…

Are you patient? I have the patience of Job. He was a whiner, too.

DJ or band, at a wedding? I have avoided weddings for years.

Ever won a contest? We’ve been trying to give away this humongous fish tank with stand and light for years, no one has ever taken it. I won it during a dog food drawing.

Ever have plastic surgery? I once saw a show where a vet repaired a gaping hole in the abdomen of someone’s pet spider. He saved the spider’s life.

Which are better black or green olives? I seem to need about a can a week of the jumbo blacks. Ten years ago I’d never have dreamed I’d ever like them at all. I like radishes now, too. I think these might be early signs of a pre-zombie condition.

Can you knit or crochet? My dad wanted me to crochet him some long underwear one winter. He was born in the wrong century.

Best room for a fireplace? Central heating. If I must have a fireplace, I think it would be awesome to have one in a big bedroom, and there must also be a walk out balcony made of rock like a castle, and the moon is up and snow falling. Actually, every room should have one, but every room must also be spacious and really cool. And there should be a fire pit outside year round, and a fireplace with a big spit built into it, and a bonfire out in a field.

Do you want to get married? When I was 14 a ouija board said I would marry Scott. At the time everyone thought it meant a Scott at school and teased me. We moved to another state soon after and I totally forgot about it, and almost 15 years later I married a Scott. I didn’t remember the ouija board until later.

If married, how long have you been married? 19 years in another month. This prolly goes with the stubborn question awhile ago. Never give up! Never surrender! Ooh, this calls for another youtube. I know, it seems random, but you could argue that marriage is kinda like this, given in-laws, homesteading, neighbors, kids, relatives during holidays, etc. Little distractions like this are probably why it takes me 10 days to fill out some surveys.





Who was your HS crush? I had an invisible friend. He still shows up once in awhile.

Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? I don’t understand people who do this. It’s so much more fun to discreetly manipulate spacetime and other people’s thoughts until everyone does whatever I want.

Do you have kids? Successfully self replicating automaton, *check*.

Do you want kids? We don’t have pets in the house. All chickens must live in pens.

Whats your favorite color? This is totally covered in *wo* I just realized my Surveypalooza page turned 5 last month. In celebration, I am turning on comments. Doesn’t mean I’ll respond to comments or even read them, I’m so bad about not checking stuff.

Do you miss anyone right now? After 36 hours of nearly nonstop continual talking from Scott’s dad, who stopped in for a week long visit, I am not missing them at all while they run off to town. Bits of my brain are slowly oozing down the walls and creeping back into my skull while I enjoy the sounds of my washing machine, a bird outside, and general dead air space. I didn’t know it was possible for anyone to talk so much. And he started getting after me for looking bored and not paying attention after Scott got home from work last night. I told him this is my ~lazy face~. I’m on break now. I made my interested face for 8 straight hours (omg, it was like being on full alert for a 3 year old), and now it’s my turn to rest while he talks to his son. He didn’t get it. He thinks I’m being rude and started poking me with a horrible joke stick. This is the kind of stuff people with Asperger’s put up with in school from bullies. They think they’re funny. If you don’t acknowledge that they are the spotlight all the time, they poke your brain till it explodes and sticks all over the walls and ceiling. He’s over 80, so I refrained from putting him through my paper shredder.

Did you watch, Next Great American Band on FOX? Poke my eyes out.